Well, wasn’t that disgusting? The Eels and Tigers played out an affront to rugby league on Sunday, and while the scoreboard ultimately declared Parramatta the victors of the contest, nobody emerged as winners from that debacle. That was the kind of game that tests the wisdom old men spout after ugly wins. Is it really better to win ugly than lose pretty? Is a bad win always better than a good loss?

The preview focused on how easily the Tigers’ spirits would be broken, that they just needed to be invited to throw in the towel. Parramatta certainly extended an invite, but it was one back into the contest, time and time again with basic errors that couldn’t help but give Wests the confidence that maybe they are a real footy team after all. Wests were the outmatched boxer walking to the centre of the ring on wobbly legs, waiting for the mercy of a knockout, only for the Eels to uppercut themselves in the jaw over and over.

Make no mistake, against any other team in the league (and perhaps one or two in NSW Cup) the Eels are flogged. 48 missed tackles, 19 errors, 45% possession. It continues a season long trend of Parramatta not possessing the basic level of skills required for professional rugby league. Their error rates are unacceptable, and so many of these errors come in the most fundamental of rugby league skills. Dropping passes cold. Playing the ball incorrectly. Throwing forward passes from dummy half. Losing the footy in regulation contact. How does a coach even fix these skills that should have been ingrained at junior footy levels? Jason Ryles hasn’t found an answer in season, but he needs to get it right (as well as fitness, but that’s another story) in the off season.

Without fixing those basics it doesn’t matter how many green shoots or good structures you have. What good is the attack putting on some competent spreads when the same guys linking those movements can’t hold the ball in a tackle? What use is good defensive communication when you can’t tackle a player running back against the line? How valuable is a good offload and tackle breaks on a run when you play the ball forward after you get up? Play with as much effort and dedication as you want, if you can’t execute the core skills of rugby league you can’t be running around in first grade football.

This has gone on all season long and represents a wider problem with the coaching and training of the squad. I’m not going to speculate on the cause, but the entire Eels structure needs to identify the root of this problem and fix it. With new teams arriving each of the next two years and a third likely coming straight after, you aren’t recruiting your way out of chronic problems. You can’t just sack ‘em all and start again. You have to fix it.

These grades will not be kind.

 

 

 

If you want to play like Dylan Edwards, you’d best emulate his most important skill: reliability. It is a shock when Edwards drops the ball in contact or makes a basic mistake. When it happens to Iongi, we all call “drink” and head back to the bar for a refill.

---

He’s unlikely to get his flowers for it, but Brian Kelly has been one of the best wingers in football this year. He finishes, he creates, he rucks, and perhaps most surprisingly of all, he’s reliable. Sure he has a few quirks that you would expect of a guy who hasn’t played on the wing regularly since junior footy, but we stole a real one here.

---

I don’t think Jordan Samrani has it in him to score a normal try, but given how few of them we cross for at all I’ll take awkward putdowns and sidesteps that are better registered as “changes of direction”. Bring on the Beak!

---

Will looks to be playing with a bit of sting in his tail, but he hasn’t got enough venom in him to be truly effective. He always shows just enough for us to keep the faith, but it wouldn’t surprise me if we are celebrating his 250th first grade game and still waiting for that breakout season.

---

This “D” might be for “D’oh” as Addo-Carr had a few moments where he looked very dangerous (that early break where he just ran around the Tigers defence was great) but his errors were absolute killers. We need him to be the calm, reliable head in this inexperienced squad, instead he is responsible for thousands of dogs in Western Sydney hiding under bushes as their owners scream expletives at the television. His dropping that pass made my son cry.

---

Volkman wasn’t bad here, but he is a square peg bouncing off a round hole in this Eels attack. I’m not sure if it is timing, decision making or just lack of combinations, but his edge runs like a clock with a dying AA. Watching Jarome Luai run into phone booths all day didn’t give me a lot of hope that the grass is greener in 2027, but improved cohesion on that left side is a must next year.

---

Mitch is credited for four of the Eels errors in this one, though half of those were failed line dropouts. The biggest line dropout failure of all was the one Fonua Pole returned for an embarrassingly soft try, but hard to blame Mitch for that too much either. As for the rest of his game? He got it done when he needed to at the death and had some moments in attack, the team just didn’t give him much of a platform to work from given they kept dropping the ball. There have been some real head injury level takes on Moses following that game, I would say that it is hard to dominate a football match when you play out of your own half for most of it.

---

The Eels’ middle wasn’t dominated by the Tigers, but it was clearly outpointed in the contest. Terrell May played with an endless appetite for work and Fonua Pole ran like a man possessed, both of them performing well above anything the Parramatta pack could muster. Sam is the leader of that group now and needs to face these challenges down with his own rampage.

---

Tallyn’s decision making and service could still use some improvement, sometimes you just need to serve it up off the deck, but he was where he needed to be in support and it shocked me to learn he was our top try scorer for the year. That says more about our year than it does TDS, but credit where it is due.

---

Jack Williams had a hard slog in this one, leading the team in tackling, as usual, playing a clean game of footy and leading the forwards in yardage. Given he only needed 95 metres to lead said forwards means he probably won’t be putting this game on replay in his pool room, but he’s a consistent presence in an inconsistent side. I’d give it to Brian Kelly, but he’s the unbackable favourite for the Thornett Medal.

---

Kelma was shaping as a focal point of that right edge attack, but his night was cut short through injury and mostly I’ll remember the ball bouncing off his fingers on a regulation hitup pass. Again. There is no better summation of Kelma’s Parramatta career than leading the team in metres per run while making a fundamental error.

---

Not a lot of impact in this one for Special Ks, who didn’t find his timing on the left edge all game. That wasn’t entirely his fault, but he needs to find other ways to impact a contest than being put into space by his five eighth. Leading the team in missed tackles isn’t great either.

---

More game time than usual for De Belin, who was incredibly busy in defence and took up an increased role in distribution once more. That hospital ball and subsequent error was all on TDS so I’ll go kind on that, I’m just glad we’re figuring out how to use our veteran forward and “star signing” for 2026 after five months of footy.

---

For Dylan Walker to be effective we need to at least get to the third or fourth tackle and allow him to play at the line, so this wasn’t the game for him. Maybe he’s playing like he’s already left, but I can’t remember too many brilliant moments from Dylan since he announced he was leaving.

---

Just 19 minutes for Edwards, most of it in dummy half relief. It felt like he was a much better contributor when he started the game, this current role he has as a reserve hooker and occasional middle is a bit directionless.

---

He’s coming back from injury so I’ll cut him some slack, but compare what Fonua Pole did off the bench to what we got from Junior and tell me who you’d rather have in your side. Actually, if that is cutting some slack, I’d hate to see what I’m like if I’m being really critical.

---

Brown is a promising prospect but I don’t think 40+ minutes is the best use of him right now. Shorter stints where he can focus on powerful running rather than conserving energy will see us get the best from him.

---

Apologies if I’ve missed castigating a player for your favourite mistake on the weekend, there were just so many and I’d sooner gargle Drano than watch a replay of that dross. I love you all, but not enough to inflict that kind of misery on myself.

If we want to celebrate anything, and that’s a big if after Sunday, let us enjoy the defensive improvements of an Eels team that were once on track to be an all time worst side for points conceded. After ten rounds we were conceding 34.5 points per game, since then we have conceded 22.1 per game. It’s not elite levels by any means, but it is also two converted tries a game. Something to build on.

This week we travel to the new SFS to play an up and down Rabbitohs side barely holding on to their place in the top eight. If this was a normal side it’d be a great chance for us, but the South Sydney hoodoo is one even a fan as dismissive of self pitying fatalism as I am just has to bow to. It’ll be tough.

Until then, stay slippery, Eels fans.

Gol

Stats and images provided by NRL / Eels media