Parramatta Eels 12
Bulldogs 14
That was atrocious. The sport of rugby league was insulted by the Eels and especially the Bulldogs last night, in a match that should have had a screen put up around it at halftime. Fans should be entitled to a refund for failure to deliver the expected product, because that match was as close to first grade rugby league as I am to running a sub 10 second hundred metres, and I just had to take a break walking up the stairs with a coffee.
If I was capable of pity for Canterbury fans I would certainly be feeling it if this is what they’ve had to watch for the last three months. Their attack was every bit the spoon contender, so inept that it made the Parramatta defence look competent. Passes over the sideline, botched play after botched play, kicks when there should be passes, shifts when they should play straight. About the only joy provided by the game was seeing just how bad our old enemy is going. Sadly, they were still going well enough to get one over the Eels.
For Parramatta this game was one long slog to get out of their own half, then giving up easy metres to the Bulldogs forwards before the Bulldogs backs blew chance after chance after chance. Against a competent opponent this game would’ve been a thrashing. The lack of attacking creativity was painful, as were the mountain of handling errors. You’d think Jacob Kiraz was covered in stinging nettle given the struggles to simply tackle him, though any Bulldog back that decided to run an angle managed to break a half dozen tackles.
This is another match that fits firmly into the “one that got away” category; Mitchell Moses would absolutely have been the difference here, just like last week. The Blues better get a series win for us out of his absence. The Eels needed to be kicked out of trouble and while Ron Volkman had a couple of excellent kicks, his default offering just isn’t as powerful as Moses’ and that translated to 10-15 metres each and every set. Joash offers no help in this regard, putting in no kicks at all.
Parramatta were bad and weren’t really punished for it. Sure, some calls weren’t great and in any close game you can blame those mistakes, but the Eels didn’t deserve to be within 20 points of a first grade side based on this performance and it was only the incompetence of their opposition that kept this one close. This level of mistakes, the volume of missed tackles, the weakness in the metres game, they aren’t going to win you many contests.
I’d love to just grade this game a “D” for Dire and be done with it, but the last time I did that the grades post mysteriously disappeared. Instead it’s a “D” for “lets Dig in”.
Isaiah Iongi
1 – Fullback
Iongi’s errors under the high ball are becoming a concern, with a couple more bad misses in this game including one where he was attacking the ball. His metres are great, but a custodian’s main job is security and right now I’m starting to shake a little every time a high kick goes up.
Brian Kelly
2 – Right Wing
Brian Kelly led the team in metres, including an impressive 82 post contact, but frankly I don’t find myself swayed by outside back running metres anymore given every team has wingers putting up 150+ a game. Actual opportunities were thin on the ground for BK. A dash of spark to break this game open was what we needed, and Kelly is one of the few Eels who can offer that right now.
Jordan Samrani
3 – Right Centre
There was to be no revenge game for the former Bulldog Samrani, who made a costly, basic error and didn’t have enough impact on either side of the ball to atone for it. He’s earned enough goodwill that I’m not off him, but it was a reminder of his limitations at this stage of his career.
Sean Russell
4 – Left Centre
It was one of those “didn’t really notice him” games for Sean Russell, aside from one excellent bomb defusal. Like when an angry teacher is letting the class know what they really think of the class, this was a good time to not be noticed.
Josh Addo-Carr
5 – Left Wing
That kick from Addo-Carr that ended up being our last meaningful play is probably still rolling down Parramatta Road. I’d expect him to win that contest for the ball with Enari Tuala more often than not, and it was another crucial missed opportunity. In a side seriously lacking spark, our best attacking player just can’t be muffing the big moments like that.
Joash Papalii
6 – Five Eighth
Joash was a real target for the Bulldogs in the defensive line and he mostly held his own, even with six missed tackles. He found himself in the right spot to pounce on opportunities, one cruelly denied by the definition of possession changing from the one I’ve known for the last forty years, but some of the attacking clunkiness has to fall on the shoulders of our playmakers.
Ronald Volkman
7 – Halfback
On the bright side our edge defence wasn’t a problem today, though a lot of that can be chalked up to the opposition. On the downside, Ronald Volkman isn’t Mitchell Moses, and he couldn’t quite kick his way out of trouble like our captain can. There were a few really nice clearing kicks in there, but the couple of long dropouts we attempted made it very clear that the commentary teams’ insistence on a 2-point field goal as our only chance to win the game was about as misguided as my attempts at the hundred metre sprint.
Luca Moretti
8 – Front Row
There were a couple of nice runs from Luca Moretti, but given his limited minutes and middle role he can’t be missing so many tackles. Looking at what Teancum Brown delivered in his debut and Toni Mataele has provided the last couple of weeks, Moretti looks fairly meat and potatoes in comparison. Middles need to be impact players or reliable players, and while Moretti has usually been reliable, there are too many mistakes and now missed tackles in his game.
Tallyn Da Silva
9 – Hooker
The lack of composure in the closing stages ruined what was a solid game for Tallyn, who triggered a couple of nice short-side raids. There’s a bit too much speed-bump in his defence for my liking; he’s missed 28 tackles in his last five games, and while the intent to drill Matt Burton on his blindside was noble, maybe don’t make high risk defensive moves in the late stages of a tied game.
Jack Williams
10 – Front Row
Jack Williams is eating minutes in the middle of this Eels pack, making a lot of tackles and offering what passes for reliability in this broken Parramatta side. I’m not sure that near-80 minute prop is the best use of his talents in this side, but right now it is what Jason Ryles believes we need, and he was very solid here.
Kelma Tuilagi
11 – Second Row
Rinse and repeat last week for Kelma, who was decent enough in attack, missed too many tackles and sprinkled in some mistakes and ill discipline. His tackle efficiency was worst among the team, which just isn’t it for a back rower.
Kitione Kautoga
12 – Second Row
Kitione gets bumped up a grade for that try-saver, the kind of desperation effort we’ve seen all too rarely this year. It’s a shame he managed to find that one in a million angle that somehow threaded two teammates on an offload into space, but he still looks the most likely to create something in attack, even if this was a quieter performance than last week.
Jack de Belin
13 – Lock
Full disclosure, I watched the first half on a small screen and not once did I notice Jack de Belin with the ball. He’s tackling himself to a standstill and no doubt fulfilling a role, but a half hour of tackle-botting can’t be what we signed him for.
Dylan Walker
14 – Interchange
Look what happens when somebody runs at real pace off of Dylan Walker’s shoulder! Shame it took the debutant to show the rest of the pack what needs to be done. It was a real “pass first” day for Dylan, necessitated by the inexperience in the halves, and opposition sides are starting to key in on him and limit the effectiveness of his playing out the back. Bringing Moses back should free things up for him some more, but it might be time for a new wrinkle in how we use Walker.
Harrison Edwards
17 – Interchange
Hard to argue with Harrison Edwards here, as his service was again solid, his tackling efficient and his time in the middle too short to properly gauge his value beyond taking the sting out of the game for TDS. He makes his tackles, immediately vaulting him into my top three favourite Eels this year.
Sam Tuivaiti
15 – Interchange
It was tough slogging for big Sam, who didn’t have the same pep in his step as we’ve come to expect and his metres per run show it. He’s got the runs on the board to earn some benefit of the doubt on one slow week, but the man below outpointed him on debut today.
Teancum Brown
19 – Interchange
What a nice debut for Teancum Brown, who poses greater unspeakable nickname threats than Will Penisini so I might just call him T-Brown for now. He looked good when he found space and several of his runs had real venom, and being the only Eel aside from Josh Addo-Carr to not miss a tackle is another feather in his cap. More Teancum please!
The only positive coming from that game is that it is over. It’s a shame to drop another winnable game but this season is going nowhere fast, any decent recruitment won’t arrive until 2028 (if it arrives at all) and the guys who are meant to be banging down the door in NSW Cup (the pack included four players with first grade experience this year) just got beaten by 60. There isn’t a lot to be Parra Proud about right now.
Next week we continue our “busted arse” tour by hosting the similarly flailing Raiders, who make their first visit to Parramatta in four years. Fun fact: this is the first non-covid regular season game for the Raiders against Parramatta at CommBank. Of course, we’ve played down in Canberra five times over that period. Maybe they’ll get lost on the way to the ground. At the very least, I’ll be there to boo Ricky Stuart.
Until then, stay slippery, Eels fans.
Gol
Stats and images provided by NRL / Eels media
A bit harsh on JAC with that kick, even if it was a perfect kick, he was out when he kicked it. Also TDS, he was unlucky, a bullshit high tackle, and a bullshit running off the ball. Like someone said, Toupanua can crash through 3 110kg players, yet goes flying when he instigates a fairy touch by TDS.
Man. I can call out some tough calls against us – the Joash no-try on half time & the second jump off side from the scrum in the second half that should have been sin bins.
But, unfortunately, TDS got Burton high. And, quite clearly, he looked over his shoulder at Tupinua and took him out.
Plenty to think about Gol, thanks again for putting in the time. I’d have rated Jack Williams higher – it can’t be easy coming up with that excellent performance week after week when so many around him are so vulnerable. At present, in his own way, he is as valuable as Mitch.
As to Mitch, with great respect, I don’t think there’s much point in comparing Volkman’s kicking to Mitch’s; Mitch’s is arguably the best we’ve ever had, at least in the top three in the NRL at present.
Back in my days of coaching school boys I’d normally pick the best 13 defenders then work out what positions they might fill. We’re not far off needing the same approach at The Eels.
Just a note on the grades Gol, I’m sure you have standards you are measuring against, but if C were the middle, that suggests a minimum standard for an NRL team. What was dished up yesterday was clearly not NRL standard, so should the average be more like a D? I get that there are a lot of rookies in the team and we can’t be too harsh on them, but many players simply need to be better.
It’s not looking great for Parra in the near to mid future. I really don’t know where to from here…
Onya Gol.
On Moretti. You are right, that key word is “impact”. He just doesn’t have any. I can’t imagine oppositions spend a single minute creating a tip sheet on Moretti, other than to run at him after 10 minutes because he will be gassed.
JDB. Agree. Locks can’t just be tackling machines any more. For the record, stats wise, it was 28 minutes, 3 runs for 18 metres (4 of which were post contact). I feel like i would be a punchers chance of racking up 18m on 3 runs.
As his harshed critic, i could have given Joash a slightly higher grade, maybe a ‘C’. and a few of those forwards were probably treated a little generously, but very few quibbles. When the debutant who played 22 minutes rightly gets the highest grade, it tells you all you need to know about the performance.
The most embarrassing inept performance I can recall , Penrith would of put 80 on us , I find it hard to believe in a professional era this team supposedly trains 5 days a week , there is something missing at this club and I suspect it starts at the top and filters it’s way down the chain
You all will just have to accept that the hierarchy planning and producing our footy product are not up to it, they are in fact inept. The Knights with the employment of the right footy savvy people have transformed from last to a top four challenger in less than 12 months.The malaise of defeat is permeating through the club. And until we get the right decision makers it will be hard to arrest.
I haven’t watched the game – yet but Gol’s comments have me wondering whether I should. I have looked at the game stats and 60 missed tackles tell me we need a new defense coach. The Tigers got bombed 68 points but did not miss 60 tackles. The Doggies had the ball in play for 30 minutes which points to two missed tackles a minute. Gol is correct any other team would have scored 50.
What really concerns me, is Ryles getting the bench turnover right. That new signing Harrison 28 tackles and not one missed. Why wouldn’t you put him back out there in the second half. I don’t get it! BA was guilty for poor use of the bench – is Ryles falling for the same trap.
Now let’s be honest – Moses either wants to play Rep football or steer Parra into the finals. He can’t have it both ways. Just about every Rep period he is involved he seems to come away injured. We pay him a million dollars to play for the Eels and quite frankly over the past few seasons we have been short changed because of Rep injuries. It’s time Moses changed his focus.
The halves are not working – put TDS in at seven and Walker at 6 while Moses is out. Joash tries very hard but needs more time in the reggies to better hone his skills. Bring back Ryley Smith and leave Harrison on the bench or start him as an edge. His defense seems to good to leave out. That earlier comment about 13 tacklers is true especially for a team that missed 60 tackles not counting ineffective which really is an euphemism for missed. Build the defense and the attack will come. Sounds like like a line from a movie. Where do we go – drop Kelma and Morretti start Williams and Big Sam and Harrison. Bring back Ryley and give more minutes to Mataele, put Walker at six and TDS at seven. Why do the same thing week after week and get hammered – that’s classic insanity.
Does anyone have a line to the coach? We need to change not tomorrow but now!