The Cumberland Throw

Team List Tuesday – The All Time Nicknames

When I was tasked with choosing my team of the best Eels to never win a premiership post-1986 I dabbled…nay, I delved heavily into the sub-topic of best nicknames. Sports always produce a wonderful bag of endearments and epithets and the Eels are no exception here and it immediately posed the question – who makes the all-time nickname team for the Parramatta Eels?

The topic quickly snared a life of its own and the subsequent passionate debates among the TCT brainstrust meant there was little recourse but to put the matter to the public domain. Ultimately, while I was able to recall more than a few amusing monikers for my last TLT blog, given the depth and breadth of the topic at hand I had no recourse but to enlist the talents of Sixties and work side-by-side with my numerical nemesis merely days after butting heads with him over who was worthy of the call.

The list of eligible players quickly grew beyond our control and thus we quickly arrived at the battle to end all battles – Parramatta Blue vs Parramatta Gold. Guru and Pebbles up against The Mayor and Moby DickKiller and the Hitman trading blows with Sideshow Bob and The Bear as Spidermann and Flash Gordon settle the comic book debates once and for all.

So how did we do? I have little doubt we have missed some absolute crackers so be sure to let us know in the comments and don’t be afraid to hit us up with your own all-time lists!

 

Parramatta Blue

 

1. Phil MannSpider

2. Neville GloverNifty

3. Jamie LyonKiller

4. Tony Williams T-Rex

5. Eric GrotheGuru

6. John PeardBomber

7. Graham MurrayLittle Artie

8. Paul MaresLump

9. Mark RiddellPiggy

10. Stan JurdPlunkett

11. Andrew RyanBobcat

12. Ray HiggsBulldog

13. Mark LauriePebbles

14. Keith CampbellBoofhead

15. Graham OllingShovels

16. Ron HilditchHitman

17. Kevin StevensStumpy

18. Brad WilliamsBionic Matchstick

 

Parramatta Gold

 

1. Ken ThornettThe Mayor

2. Graham AtkinsBrains

3. Michael EricksonSparrow

4. Neil HuntGuilty

5. Matt PetersonSideshow Bob

6. Steve EllaZip Zip

7. Paul TaylorSquizzy

8. Bob O’ReillyThe Bear

9. Steve EdgeSledge

10. Brian HamblyGrumpy

11. Dick ThornettMoby

12. Peter WynnWally

13. Ron LynchThirsty

14. Paul ClarkeNobby

15. Michael GordonFlash

16. Chris Phelan – Howya

17. Daniel IrvineBubsy

18. Ian HerronChook

 

Noteworthy Current Players

 

Daniel Alvaro – Polar

Clinton Gutherson – King Gutho

Will Smith – The Fresh Prince

Peni Terepo – Baz / The Butcher

 

Other Noteworthy Current Players

(automatically ineligible because they were cursed by nicknames of my design)

 

Reagan Campbell-GillardThe Fully Loaded Man

Reed MahoneyCash

Marata NiukoreHakuna Marata

Junior PauloProptimus Prime

Maika SivoMentos

Brad TakairangiThe Cook Island Control Tower

 

Our thanks also to Parrathruandthru for research assistance.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
46 Comments
oldest
newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JonBoy

You gents have disappointed me…what happened to-

Ray Price- Mr Perpetual Motion
Mick Cronin- The Crow
Brett Kenny- Bert. Although never official, as a kid I did then assume this made Sterlo Ernie?

…how could they miss out?

sixties

Yes, Omitted. I believe that Price was more commonly referred to as Pricey. We avoided names that were simply adding an o or y to names or were very close to their real names. There is an argument that the origins of Bert is a misspelt program list.
There was a bit of debate JonBoy, but we thought we’d go down the path of furthest distance from the obvious.

Achilles' Eel

I thought the source of Kenny’s nickname was the actor Burt Reynolds. I’m pretty sure I heard him say that in an interview for Wide World of Sports many moons ago.

Pou

They called him Bert because he was quick like former Eels flyer Luke Bert.

Achilles' Eel

Pou, are you suggesting that Bert had access to a time-traveller’s DeLorean and knew an eccentric duffer who went by the name of Doc Brown?

Bert sure moved like he could transcend time. Now what a shame he’s yet to be immortalised.

parrathruandthru

Nah the Poms got his name wrong somewhere on the 82 Kangaroo tour and the other players pounced on it

Achilles' Eel

Oh well, there goes Bert’s/Burt’s claim to fame outside footy. He’d have welcomed running around with Sally Field and Loni Anderson.

Gooraz

“Bert” was the name Jack Gibson called Brett Kenny at training one night and the other players overheard and it stuck with him from them on

Achilles' Eel

Thanks Gooraz. It does remind one of Big Jack’s acerbic wit – or what I’ve read of it. Who can forget his take on Andrew Ettingshausen: ‘ET is so fast he can turn off the light and be in bed before it gets dark’? As for Bert, I can recall Peter Peters in the commentary box during a Trans-Tasman Test Match in 1986 waxing lyrical after Kenny had scored a long-range try for Australia: ‘Bert, such an ordinary name for such an extraordinary footballer!’ – or words to that effect. NB. My apologies to all Berts who read this. Bert… Read more »

sixties

And we know that Peter Peters does not hand out accolades too freely to Eels players.

Parra Pete

Noel Dolton – Tombstone
Billy Rayner – Bullethead
Archie Brown – The Sneeze (Arch who?)
Jarryd Hayne – The Playne
Noel Cornwell – Storky
Rod Blundell – Knuckles
Ralph Harding – Butch
Barry Rushworth – Bowsa
Derek Hallas – Chalkie
Bill Roney – Doc
Ivor Lingard – Knackeroff

sixties

Yes! Yes! Yes!
This is exactly what we hoped for. More nicknames that we weren’t aware of. Cheers Pete.
Knackeroff has me 🤔🤔🤔

Parra Pete

Ivor

Zero58

Billy Rayner was called “cement head”.
Never heard the other expression.

Zero58

And did we get Brian “grumpy” Hambly

sixties

He’s on the list

Parra Pete

I’m getting older..Of course it was cement head..My bad…Thanks for pointing it out….

Trouser Eel

Daniel Wagon – super glue.

sixties

That was our name for him!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Colin Hussey

I don’t recollect that Bob O’Reilly was “The Bear” rather he was generally just called Bear. Same with Keith Campbell it was just Boof.
Where Graham Olling got his nick name from should remain silent and respected

sixties

You’re a tough marker Colin! Fancy correcting the use of an article 😁😁😁
My task for you Colin is to add to the list, like Parra Pete. With your history you must have some inside word on the nicknames.

Colin Hussey

Mate, pretty much the tags put on players in the lists are good, interestingly though, I don’t really remember too many of the players nicknames now. Greg Heddles – Teddles Denis Fitzgerald – Scraps. Don Price (Rays Brother) Do Do, owing to the way he ran, I called him out as he took off one game and said goooo Do Do, I think he scored and a woman sitting next to me in the Cumberland stand why do you call him Do Do, I said its the way he runs, couple of others said the same and she laughed and… Read more »

Parramatta Tragic

I don’t think there is anything unprintable about the origin of Graham Olling’s nickname Colin. It’s actually quite clever. Hopefully his old mate Slugg may see this and tell us the real origin of it

Colin Hussey

The one that Slugg put up is one that most know of but there was another one that was not as nice that was inferred against him, I would not repeat it and in hindsight should not have mentioned it either.
While many nicknames are clever, I don’t really like them as they can be quite demeaning to the person.

Anonymous

Colin, despite what you might think there is no other origin of his nickname.
Slugg

Offside

I was a big fan of
Michael Vella “tranny” nickname maybe not appropriate now days.

Offside

I was a big fan of
Michael Vella “tranny” nickname maybe not appropriate now days.

sixties

Yes, Parrathruandthru had that on a list he sent to me but I decided not to put in the team list as I thought that might be pushing some boundaries. 😬😬😬

Gazzamatta

Maybe we could choose a team from other clubs to compete in a “Nickname Tri Series”?
Of cause my main reason for this suggestion is to nominate my favourite nickname ever.
“Watsapakata” Sigsworth. Surely has to be Fullback in this “away team”.
I also recall Brad Fittler was called “Adolf” prior to his eventual “Freddy”. Pretty understandable he was given a pass on the original effort.
Gotta love a good nickname.
Cheers
Gaz

Anonymous

‘Waltzing’ Matt Hilder….

sixties

Terrific. He’d be a must include in an opposition list.

Parra Pete

He takes the money and run to Venezuela..

sixties

I reckon everyone appreciates Watsapakata Gazza. I’m happy for any replies to come up with an opposition list..

BDon

When you guys hinted about a special theme team, I thought “this’ll be moustaches’. Any nicknames I know have been covered, but always surprised that Nathan Hindmarsh didn’t get hung with something like ‘Builder’s’.

Colin Hussey

Nah! best for him would be Chaser, after the way he chased and tackled but the best of all was when he went after Ennis and gave him a what for.

sixties

I reckon his frustration was symptomatic of the frustration in the team in general.

sixties

Can’t spoil future lists.

Parra Pete

Few Nick names from other teams —

Bill (Bluey) Wilson
Ian (Abdul) Walsh,
Norm (Sticks) Provan
John (Chook) Raper
Brian (Poppa) Clay
Ron (Sooty) Saddler
Neville Boxhead Charlton
Simon (Germ) Woolford
Wayne (Snoopy) Collins
David (Furnsie) Furner
Jason Toots Croker
Andrew (Cappy) McFadden
Mark (Boof) Geyer
Stuart (The two iron with ears) Davis
David (Cement) Gillespie
Steve (Sludge) Rogers

sixties

Nice list Pete.

Milo

Very interesting article 60’s – i have nothing to add to this. Bomber Peard was superb as was Squizzy Taylor. You cannot beat some of those nicknames from the past – great by all contributors.

sixties

As we get older, these lists might just help to keep deteriorating brains like mine active

Parramatta Tragic

I went to watch training a few times in the 70″s and John Peard would train in a Tee shirt and printed on the front of it was DIS-A-PEARD

sixties

Disa is a clever one. Did anyone call him that?

Slugg

How Graham Olling got the nickname Shovells. I remember Rex Mossop saying he got the name because he drops the ball a lot. The true story is this over Xmas dinner when he was a kid his uncle commented about the way Graham and his brother Wayne scoffed their food. Their Mum said “one eats with a shovel the other uses a spade”. The nicknames stuck from then on.

sixties

When family creates nicknames they usually stick because there’s love involved in the naming.

Brelogail St Boy

Keith Campbell when he went from being a flier to a lot more solid we use to call KEG Campbell. Was that just my mates ?

46
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x