While Magic Round is a great supporters experience, it hasn’t been much of a friend to fans of the Parramatta Eels. They’ve suffered three losses from four attempts, two of them absolute embarrassments of different kinds; a pathetic drubbing at the hands of Melbourne and an inept showing against a poor Titans side in a must-win game. Maybe cancelling the fan day will fix our Magic Round blues, but I’m not getting my hopes up.
Like Manly and Brisbane before them, Melbourne look there to be beaten this week. Injuries to key players, whispers of others being shopped around, finally breaking the glass case surrounding long hyped prospect Jack Howarth, even a love of playing in Queensland wouldn’t save the Storm against a competent opposition this weekend. Lucky for them, they play us.
Yep, it’s another one of “those” previews. The way this year is going, most of them are going to read like depressing teenage poetry, except I’m a middle-aged man who has supported a footy team that’s never won anything of note in his lifetime. Which is even more depressing, if you think about it too much. Let’s get into the misery.
Game Info
Date: Sunday May 19, 2024
Venue: Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane
Kick-off: 4:05PM AEST
Referee: Wyatt Raymond
Bunker: Gerard Sutton
Weather: Sunny, mild
Broadcast: Nine, Fox League, Kayo
Sixties Speculates (Odds quoted are NSW TAB)
Last week I suggested hitting the total match points market, unless the track was wet. I trust that you kept your money in your pocket in the rainy conditions. Nonetheless, total match points last Friday still hit 44, with a host of tries left out on the paddock.
I’ve checked the weather for Sunday and a dry track is expected.
Therefore, I think the high scoring match could eventuate. Over 56.5 total match points is returning $4.20 and that will be my tip. If you want to be conservative, over 50.5 points gets you $2.50.
Happy, responsible punting.
Sixties
Teams
Parramatta Eels
1. Blaize Talagi 2. Maika Sivo 3. Will Penisini 4. Sean Russell 5. Bailey Simonsson 6. Daejarn Asi 7. Dylan Brown 8. Reagan Campbell-Gillard 9. Joey Lussick 10. Junior Paulo 11. Shaun Lane 12. Ryan Matterson 13. J’maine Hopgood.14. Bryce Cartwright 15. Makahesi Makatoa 16. Joe Ofahengaue 17. Kelma Tuilagi.
18. Brendan Hands 19. Morgan Harper 20. Ethan Sanders 21. Wiremu Greig 22. Luca Moretti
One of our rare promotions from Cup due to form
In this week’s edition of “Brad Arthur shuffles deckchairs on the Titanic”, Daejarn Asi has earned a recall in place of Ethan Sanders, who mercifully for fans never looked much more than competent in his two first grade games. In his brief chance Sanders didn’t prove as first grade ready as his soon to be halves partner down at Canberra or the man he apparently forced over to Wests in Lachlan Galvin, which isn’t a knock on a guy too young to have seen Jamie Lyon pull on an Eels jersey. Not that I’m comparing Sanders’ defection to Judas there, that’ll be reserved for Blaize Talagi if he leaves.
No changes in the pack, again, so Shaun Lane gets another chance that his form is absolutely undeserving of. Watching him live last week, fitness seemed to be a major factor; the second the ball moved more than one pass out of his defensive area, his shoulders slumped and he moved like somebody conserving energy for hibernation. This has usually been such a fit team I’ve never considered that could be the issue with the Eels mid-game lulls, but it might just be they didn’t get worked over hard enough this off-season, or the levels they hit might have been good enough for 2022 but aren’t matching the opposition in 2024.
Melbourne Storm
1. Sualauvi Faalogo 2. Will Warbrick 3. Reimis Smith 4. Nick Meaney 5. Xavier Coates 6. Cameron Munster 7. Tyran Wishart 8. Christian Welch 9. Harry Grant 10. Josh King 11. Shawn Blore 12. Eliesa Katoa 13. Trent Loiero. 14. Jack Howarth 15. Tui Kamikamica 16. Nelson Asofa-Solomona 17. Alec MacDonald.
18. Grant Anderson 19. Joe Chan 20. Bronson Garlick 21. Dean Ieremia 22. Chris Lewis.
Like the Eels, the Storm are missing their fullback and halfback, and seemingly like Parramatta they’ve replaced them with a lightly run fringe player in the halves and a rookie at the back. Yet offer any fan a choice between Wishart/Faalogo or Asi/Talagi, and you’ll get a very good test of who is a diehard Parramatta fan, because only they would answer the latter.
The Storm pack ain’t what it once was, but it should have more than enough grunt to make the Eels pay if their mid-game malaise continues. Asofa-Solomona hasn’t had a good year but he loves a game against the Eels and coming off the bench he’ll pick out some small and tired men and make them pay. Blore has been solid for them after escaping the Tigers, and Eli Katoa has developed into a strong attacking player.
Treading Water
A lot of people have been crediting the Eels with a strong but unlucky effort last weekend, but the fact is the Broncos played an ordinary game of footy and comfortably won. Looking good and not really getting close is the kind of thing celebrated by cellar dwellers, which is a lot closer to where Parramatta is at right now. It wasn’t just that Brisbane had speed the Eels couldn’t match; they have a defensive system that shut down the Eels attack, and then they forced a lot of high-risk scoring chances that Parramatta’s sub-standard finishing couldn’t ice.
Simonsson’s high effort play is a bright spot
The Eels are not at a point where they can leave points on the table, even on slippery nights like last week. Players like Simonsson and Russell haven’t proven themselves able to finish difficult chances, and we saw more individual brilliance from one game of Blaize Talagi at the back last week than I can remember from most of our outside backs in the last year. I’m not giving some piercing insight by saying the Eels aren’t great in the backs, but looking across the field and seeing how Coates and Warbrick can create and finish chances, it’s hard not to be jealous.
The structured attack did look to be improved last week, Sanders and Brown combined well and I’m hoping Asi can drop in and do that same job of basically getting Dylan the ball in different positions than two wide on the left edge. Talagi sniffing around Brown will be a great avenue to points if we can finish the chances it creates. Asi has had a couple of strong games in Cup, improving his case as a member of the “too good for Cup but not a regular first grader” all stars. He just needs to hold the line for, well, I thought it was one more week but Moses was hinted to be back last week, then this week, and now in two weeks time.
The Eels also managed to engineer their mid-game collapse in a different way last week, this time dropping the ball and seeing the opposition run 100 metres the other way with it a couple of times. That was a change from the forwards being run over and defenders being stuck in mud, I suppose. I’ve just about given up on a return to competence from Shaun Lane, something isn’t right there, but the form of Matterson, Hopgood, Paulo and RCG has been up and down enough that you’d hope consistent good footy is still a chance from them. If they all fire on the same night, we’re a good side. That just hasn’t happened for about two months.
Service Interruptions
Just the thought of doing a deep dive on what is wrong with the Eels this year depressed me, so I’ll cliff notes it and say they need to hold the ball and spread their defensive energy across the full 80 a lot more efficiently. They lead the NRL in ineffective tackles, which passes the eye test, and I reckon they’d be right up there for tackle attempts that never even qualify due to the player not getting to the gap they were meant to cover.
Lussick is running out of chances
Shelly noted this week the substandard service our forwards receive as an issue as well, the stray passes from Lussick we can all agree on, but he at least fired the ball out quickly last year, I’d say he is another victim of fatigue. Hands has some great service in him but also has his own issues, namely defence and an inability to earn a place in the side for more than one week at a time. A team based around forward dominance needs capable service, if our current rotation can’t provide that, get the new guy in who certainly can.
Melbourne shape as a similar profile to Brisbane last week; a forward pack that can match our best and grind us out when we fall off, with pace and talent out wide to capitalise on the chances that will eventually come. A “Warbrick, Coates and Faalogo to score” multi should be paying bank interest returns. Harry Grant will have a field day against our tired ruck, and Cam Munster will test the lazier forwards on the edges. They have no such weaknesses on their side of the field, you beat Melbourne by being better than them rather than exploiting weaknesses, and that feels like a tall order for a team that can’t get out of their own way. Grant and Munster haven’t been at their best so far this year, but the Eels will play them into form just in time for State of Origin. The only team I support that might disappoint me more than the Eels is the Blues.
The Game
This is the kind of game where I’d happily be off to visit my mother-in-law or shop for a new dining table instead of watching. Unfortunately my TCT contract requires I watch at least some of the game to be able to comment on it afterwards, so I’ll be on my couch on Sunday afternoon watching the Eels ruin a perfectly good weekend.
The Storm aren’t what they used to be after a loss, for many years you may as well have not shown up if Melbourne lost the week before, but in recent years they’ve proven themselves more than capable of a slump. Without two big names, including their sneakily underappreciated halfback in Jahrome Hughes, Melbourne will probably revert to basics to get across the line here, and sadly the basics will likely be enough to beat this Eels team.
There’s some hope that the turnaround for Parramatta is coming. Fitness builds as the season progresses, and flashes of hope have appeared in recent weeks in the form of Bailey Simonsson, Blaize Talagi at fullback and the efforts of Dylan Brown. Ryan Matterson and Junior Paulo have played some decent games this year, just rarely together. Bryce Cartwright is back and could offer some spark off the bench. For a team that usually collapses without Clint Gutherson, the Eels were decent in effort last week, and few tries were conceded because of structural breakdowns.
Still, I can’t tip them. The most likely result is unfortunately a capitulation. I’m not going to tip it being that bad, but that might be more out of hope than anything. Hope is all we’ve got left right now in season 2024, and you know what they all say the hope does to you.
Prediction: Melbourne 34 d Parramatta 16
Man of the Match: Cam Munster
Gol
Best phrase ever….
In this week’s edition of
“Brad Arthur shuffles deckchairs on the TITANTIC”
Very true..
Unfortunately😂😂
Let’s hope that the club can sign the right juniors. 2 young players that won player of the year awards in the district last year, both were not signed and headed to Souths and Roosters. Darcy Feltham and Lachlan Metcalfe have been picked for the U16 SOO team , don’t know if it was size of contract or did we have better players, but it’s part of our ongoing issue.
Just keep the score competitive, the level of disappointment on our playing style and backline is out there now for the majority of fans,
Our Jnr development has been a disaster for years and is matched by our terrible identification of talent.
Recruitment and retention/talent ID is a shitshow at most level of the parramatta eels football program
And no one will lose their positions , so much for “ we want to be known as a development club “ , silly me thought they meant for us , anyway nothing will change .
Agreed all round here – we are a joke tbh with what has gone on with juniors and retention.
And don’t mention what we have not learnt from player managers. An experienced and no BS General Manager may have sorted this by now….
Tomorrow night – I’m just hoping we can be in the fight for 80.
Do you know what positions Feltham and Metcalfe play? Even better, who have we prioritized ahead of them?
We should be making serious overtures to that Peter O’sullivan ? bloke. But that won’t happen.
Both play in the halves, Feltham occasionally fullback. Metcalf won player of the game at 7 in the U16 city v Country, kicking 7 from 7 I think.
Not sure anyone was prioritised ahead of them, just not a good job in retaining them, from what I understand. Wenty and Hills juniors .
Thanks for that
Feltham won player of the year as fullback for Souths Harold Matts. Hills Bulls player that Parra placed in the Development squad and not in the Matts team. Souths swooped.
Metcalfe was named Parramatta Junior Rugby League player of the year in 2023, playing a year young at half for Wenty.
It’s funny, we don’t seem to be getting punished for the higher risk through offloading, it’s other sloppy stuff. If we can just get the low error/high completion thing in better shape, we just might put together a winning game.
I think Moretti in the stands while Lane is playing doesn’t reward effort.
Here’s hoping the big fella has a bit of luck and finds some of the form he had 100 weeks ago.
I don’t think Lane will find any form until Brown is back playing inside him. BA has to wake up and not weaken our best attacking edge by playing Brown on the right. Asi/Sanders/whoever should just suck it up and handle it.
You are probably right Rustedon. But it has shown how little work Lane does in defence because normally Dylan spends all his energy mopping up for Lane. That means Dylan has less energy for attack. Dylan basically carries Lane. It’s not on.
Sorry guys I am going for a win today. Sure the Broncos ran out easy winners in the end but, Parra created more scoring chances in the second half than the Broncos but couldn’t finish them off. A try was disallowed because of obstruction and one was called back because the referee blew his whistle too soon and Lane got in the way of Blaize near the line at the end and Penisini was called back – forward pass. There was a possible 20 points plus that was lost. Kelma T has not lived up to his preseason hype and is badly error prone, any forward who creates an obvious obstruction should be automatically dropped. BA needs to be more expansive with his choices.
Today the Eels are going to surprise everyone except me. The Eels by 10 points more if we have a decent goal kicker.
I admire your optimism
Don’t apologise for tipping a win. I’ll take it!
Well buddy, I’m surprised with BA sacking, how about you?
We are so shit – I can’t believe I wasted my money on yet another year of magic round disappointment from a rag tag bunch of reserve graders. The “senior” or more experienced players are only that in title because their actions show anything but leadership. Ineffective tackle after ineffective tackle from the hooker, props and edge backrower. And 20 tackles missed before 25 mins in game. Blow it up – this stinks
It’s the 60th minute and sivo has 3 runs for 29 metres. Joey Lussick has 6 missed tackles and a million ineffective. Lane has dropped several balls and looks disinterested. The parra kick chase is non existent. Junior is stuck in mud and is a net negative. Parra have a comical sequence where 3/4 players miss tackles in a row to give up a try from a position infield they should not concede (warbrick). Parra fold after 45 mins. You could set your watch to the collapse of this pathetic group of players each week. I wouldn’t call them a team over last few weeks as I don’t see anything to resemble one.
Foorgot to add penisini and his putrid defence when Moses is out. As another predictable feature of parra play. This Has been a trend with him for few years now and was evident he would continue the trend when storm fulllback made him grasp at thin air a few mins into game
Well, that was awful.
Shameful display!!
Unfit fat lazy cowards only a coupl can hold their head up.
Peahearted incompetent feckwits!!
Poorly coached
Zero leadership
I hate this team Now!!
This isn’t just this game but it’s been 2 years in the making with failure from every level. Failure is backed into our DNA. Tulagi needs to sign elsewhere or his career will be doomed.
Watching other clubs dredge up talented juniors or fill ins and debutantes with ease. They enter in seamlessly to other teams ww are a poorly coached, poorly prepared unfit rabble.
Absolutely disgusting.
When I see Sarantinos I will give him a huge serve. He needs to meet with members in person if he doesn’t he is a coward!! He needs a townhall meeting this week!!
Betcha Sarantinos doesn’t show, or if he does he won’t come anywhere near the actual fans.
They will just put out a statement on club website that tries to placate things. Then they’ll send out “senior” players only to do media interviews and tell us rubbish cliches about how this is a line in sand, leadership, so simple thigns right etc. I have no faith in parra admin and exec people as they have got us in this position and I doubt they have skill and expertise to get us out. If they had such skill they would have bloody foreseen at least part of this disgraceful state of affairs
48th minute Grant scores and as it’s happened last 2 years the bottom drops out of the team.
We are unfit, fat lazy and poorly coached poorly prepared with zero leadership !!
Once again a rage tag bunch of fill ins dispatch this rabble.
Couldn’t even last to the usual 49th minute! 48th minute this time.
Gol I’ll save you time F-
This email from my buddy the Souths supporter cut n pasted:
“…………….the eels will be competing hard until the half time whistle then, as if scripted you will collapse like a deck of cards mate”
My reply “Says the Bunnies supporter!”
He just sent me another email. I am terrified to read it.
Predictable isn’t it?
Everyone knows except the coach of the team. Remis Smith running away nobody in cooee… Remis is not that fast.
We are so bad we make medicine sick!
Minus – 103 differential 290 points against in only 10 games.
BA has had 10 years with his defence system. How hard is it to tackle 50 missed tackles 27 ineffective.
Only positive Lane didn’t play 80minutes. But he played 60?
Is it going to take a loss to Rabbitohs for someone to wake up?
At least we’re consistent and predictable.
The gameplan to beat us is so, so simple and now that it’s been exposed so many times we’ll be hard pressed to find a team we can beat.
Run us around and exhaust our forwards with lateral movement for 40 mins. Wait for them to gas out, then run us ragged on the edges.
How did we not make a serious play for Bennett??
Hi Sean my name is Gianni I have supported this club for over 50 years and have been to the last 3 ken Thornet medal nights.
The last 7 weeks I have been on a world trip and watched every game on my laptop.
I have 4 season passes which cost me over $4000 a year.I am sick to death of caring more about my club than the people running it.
Someone needs to have the balls to move on Mark O’Neil and Brad Arthur.
It is not ok for the leagues club to make money but the football team to be a constant failure.
The teams performances have been reserved grade standard.
Tomorrow I am cancelling my membership and blocking my credit card I want a full refund of the money I have paid this year.
Thanks Gianni.
I’ve sent that exact email directly to the clubs membership office and got told that I was legally responsible for my membership fees and if I didn’t pay they’d put a default on my credit file. They’re a nasty bunch.
The Parra Storm game was the worst viewing spectacle of the weekend. I understand why supporters would be cancelling their membership, we did it at the end of last season and told them why. On another note I would really like Junior Paulo to consider retiring at the end of the season. He is nowhere near the player he was and I would hate to see his career end Mannah like. He is not a $950k player and he needs to leave with some dignity in place.
Some of the comments have been a bit hard harsh. We asked for consistency and our team is delivering in spades.
We should be more disappointed in our last two performances, we sort of resembled an NRL team but that’s not us in 2024, false hope is worse than no hope.
We haven’t hit rock bottom, our club is free falling and that’s what worries me the most.
Right now I’m not concerned about playing finals footy, I’m more concerned about how bad this season could get.
Yes I addressed mine to the board.
Might I suggest nobody goes to Accor v Rabbits as a protest.
If you go to Commbank don’t buy food or merchandise and (sorry Sixties) don’t go to the club but if you do don’t spend money there.
Hi Gianni, thanks for your txt. Tonight’s effort wasn’t good enough and I understand your frustration.
Simply stated we need to be better. I would be happy to catch up with you on your return.
Again apologies for what happened out there tonight it wasn’t good enough.
Thanks for your support.
Sean
I am back now and I will be contacting memberships at 9 am.I don’t think you understand as you follow another NRL Club. You don’t feel the hurt like all my family does.
I feel sorry for you guys having to do a podcast about this rabble of a team.
we are beyond saving now. Yet another mass cleanout, starting from the top is needed.