Parramatta Eels 53
Brisbane Broncos 6
Holy massacre Bert! You won’t see many more crushingly dominant performances than that; well and truly over at halftime and then relentless in the face of some resolve in the second that resulted in a second opening of the floodgates late. I’m framing the team stats from this game and replacing my “hang in there” kitten on the motivation wall, because what the Parramatta Eels achieved tonight felt impossible only a few short weeks ago.
I’m going all out on this one. Parramatta proved they are in finals mode and put an overmatched, exhausted opponent to the sword. Back to back huge wins has me feeling like a farmer seeing the first rain coming after a long drought. May our own long drought be broken soon too.
If you are going to find negatives in this one, just give it up. We put 50 on a fellow top eight side two weeks before the finals. Enjoy it.
This one belongs to the numbers. In the second half the running metres flashed up and the Eels had doubled the Broncos totals, a frankly ridiculous scenario that held until the final whistle. Parramatta made a miserly 233 tackles and used all of that saved energy to run Brisbane to submission. The Broncos tapped out in about the 20th minute but like a dirty UFC fighter the Eels kept on the chokehold until the 80th minute.
For the numbers inclined this is basically pornography. Hide these numbers from your children, especially if they’re Broncos fans:
Possession: Eels 62%, Broncos 38%
Completions: Eels 77% (38/49), Broncos 74% (23/31)
Runs: Eels 211, Broncos 118
Run metres: Eels 2,021, Broncos 1,063
Post contact metres: Eels 805, Broncos 435
Line Breaks: Eels 8, Broncos 2
Tackle breaks: Eels 52, Broncos 23
Offloads: Eels 23, Broncos 6
Tackles: Eels 233, Broncos 341
Errors: Broncos 15, Eels 14
Desperation bat-down try-savers in the second half: Broncos 35, Eels 0
Not just the MVP for tonight, but my MVP for the season thus far is Shaun Lane. Such were my feelings about Shaun Lane at the start of the year, when Mitch granted me the great privilege of writing the grades Lane was the example player I used when preparing gags in anticipation of dropped balls and general rubbishness. If we win the grand final I might pay for a cameo and have him read them all back about me instead.
The way he is playing, Shaun Lane should be cancelling his plans for October and November and instead be heading to England for the World Cup. People are starting to take notice because of the try assists, but Lane has been brutal in yardage, unstoppable in good ball, offloading at will and last night he broke 13 tackles! That’s one broken tackle per run. His defence has stepped up too, which might be the most pleasing aspect of all.
I’ve never been happier to be wrong about a player than I am with Shaun Lane this year. He’s not just evolved into an excellent player, but a brilliant, exciting one to watch. You da MVP, Laney.
Clint Gutherson
1 – Fullback
I watched this game on a phone, so forgive my being more general with comments here as I’m saving the replay like you would the last chocolate filled easter bun; for when I really need a pick me up.
Clint Gutherson coming in to form at the right end of the year is a warm hug and blanket after coming in from a wild storm. His confidence is coming back, he’s finding his groove in a post-Dylan Brown breakout attack and while it wasn’t exactly tested tonight, his defensive efforts are on the up. When the King is confident, his people should be confident.
Maika Sivo
2 – Left Wing
Maika Sivo is a medical marvel, the first winger to come back from an ACL tear as good, if not better, than he was before. He’s rested, confident and just as damaging a runner as he ever was. He’s not the most complete winger in the competition, but he’s an unmatched weapon of destruction that opposition sides will have to fear and respect. That kick looked about as comfortable as me in a courtroom but unlike me, Maika got the result.
Will Penisini
3 – Right Centre
The man of unspeakable nicknames nearly got me thrown off the bus on the way home tonight, the driver not being as jovial about my clever wordplay as the people in row 19 of the Cronin Stand. It was an easy night for all the outside backs, but after the way he has tackled this year Will deserved an easy one. The kid can certainly offload.
Tom Opacic
4 – Left Centre
I’m not sure what I had as more unlikely to start the year; Shaun Lane as the Eels best player or Tom Opacic to be the difference maker in our finals run. Touchdown Tommo might have gotten a bit excited with the quick hands plays a couple of times, but I’ll forgive that when he’s putting a half century and a brace on his former side. Half of the city of Hull will be licking their chops in excitement today.
Waqa Blake
5 – Right Wing
Waqa is physically incapable of what we folks call a “normal one” but the good here was real, real good. He’s got the physical factors to turn a game and worry any opponent, and while tonight it looked like he was having stickem sprayed up his nose I hope that was a bizarre motivational tactic and not a sign of injury.
Dylan Brown
6 – Five Eighth
Another quality performance from the runaway leader for most improved Eel in 2022, Dylan Brown. It was probably the dominance of field position, but Dylan actually kicked more than Mitch here, and his close range chips are pinpoint accurate and difficult to defend when the tallest man on the planet is charging through after them. When we win the comp this year, everybody will be talking about Dylan Brown’s emergence as the missing piece we discovered under Brad Arthur’s couch behind a dozen empty Mount Franklin bottles.
Mitchell Moses
7 – Halfback
Hard to believe Mitch didn’t manage a try assist in what was a completely dominant game. He got his running game into gear, controlled play and most importantly of all; nailed the disrespectful field goal on half time. In the most bleedingly obvious comment since the last time Fox cut to Jake Duke on the sideline; the Eels really missed Mitchell Moses.
RCG
8 – Front Row
Big Reg had another one of those games where the trainers argued on the sideline about who had to tell him to come off the field. The result was a huge 56 minutes in a flogging that was over before his first stint had even finished, with the Monumental Moustache terrorising the Broncos forwards first with his running game and then by trying to belt them repeatedly long after the contest was decided. He won’t be happy with the missed tackles but Reg looked like a hungry attack dog unchained for the first time in a month, and he feasted on the Brisbane forwards.
Reed Mahoney
9 – Hooker
The forward pack was so dominant that it would have been embarrassing for Reed Mahoney to not get a few runs in, and he duly obliged with one of his better running performances for the year. I thought his service was crisp and flat tonight, which is a big improvement and while it probably contributed to this being a grade 5 massacre instead of just a grade 4, it will be even more important in closer contests if he can keep it up. Reed finding his 2021 form is the last domino to fall for the Eels right now.
Junior Paulo
10 – Front Row
We expected a big day from the Eels middles and they duly obliged, with Junior having one of his “man among boys” efforts in a welcome return to form. More than half of his metres were post contact, and while I’m surprised he “only” got away two offloads he was far more dangerous than that number indicates.
Shaun Lane
11 – Second Row
The honesty session is a tried and true rugby league classic, and Shaun Lane’s chat with Brad Arthur could end up going down in rugby league folklore. It’s the classic tale of a guy just buckling down and saying “I’m finally going to be as good as I can be”. If he can bottle that and drip feed it to his teammates for the rest of this year then it’ll be kids in Harris Park wearing Parramatta Eels Premiers 2022 shirts instead of kids in Harare.
Isaiah Papali’i
12 – Second Row
It was harder going for Ice than some of his Eels teammates, but he made the slog worth it with a cracking attacking performance with two line break assists, one for a try, and when he got sick of Brisbane knocking down the final pass time after time he just burrowed his way over and broke their second half spirit. His 7 tackle breaks would be a number worthy of shouting from the stadium roof most weeks, except Shaun Lane nearly doubled it, and that might have been the difference in MVP voting today.
Ryan Matterson
13 – Interchange
Teams may have figured out that the Burramattagal Biceps loves an offload and are working to stop that, but they can’t stop him eating metres like they’re on special at a bottomless seafood buffet. He deserves a start for his form this year, but he’s also most effective for us off the bench.
Makahesi Makatoa
14 – Interchange
Not as dominant as his teammates, but Makahesi Makatoa held the line against a Brisbane team that came out of the sheds determined to regain respect. While Reg, Junior and the backs got to reap the rewards once that resolve was broken, Maka did his job in ensuring the Broncos never got a foothold back into the game.
Jake Arthur
15 – Interchange
It’s As all round, as Jake got a comfortable stint at hooker late in the game and did little wrong. His service had a couple of moments, but so did Reeds, but if you are talking about Jake Arthur following this game then that is going to say more about you than anything else.
Oregon Kaufusi
16 – Interchange
Two A stamps in two weeks for the Gun, who is hopefully rounding up some confidence in these big wins to carry through to the big games to come.
Marata Niukore
17 – Lock
This starting Simba thing is really working out for us, and is resulting in his best games of the season by some margin. He was busy, tough and hit like a truck out there.
A win like that on a Thursday night is the gift that keeps on giving all weekend long. While it might be a little late to fix our defensive numbers or our for and against, giving up two tries in two weeks, both off scrum plays funnily enough, is a big morale boost heading into a huge round 25 clash with Melbourne. The only downer on the weekend right now is that I’ll have to cheer on the Roosters tonight, to make that clash a battle for fourth position.
This win also assures the Eels of a home semi-final, with a finish of sixth place the lowest we can now fall. Let’s hope that home game is coming in the third week of the finals. After an up and down season, these last two weeks beating on a minnow Bulldogs and a washed Broncos has me plenty excited. A win against Melbourne to close the regular season and I’ll be bouncing up and down Church Street.
Until next time, stay slippery Eels fans.
Gol
Stats and images provided by NRL
Very funny Gol, loved all of your grades. “That kick looked about as comfortable as me in a courtroom but unlike me, Maika got the result” haha
“ Desperation bat-down try-savers” should be a new official stat. And the grades are spot on. A real team win.
“ but if you are talking about Jake Arthur following this game then that is going to say more about you than anything else.” Yep, 💯
Great grades again Gol. I also agree with the comments on Reed’s service. It’s been a little clunky of late but last night he stepped it up.
Well done Parra. Great win. Every player contributed positively. It must be fun writing the grades after a win like that Gol. A good read – thanks. Go the Roosters.
Great win. Loved the intensity from the get go, it’s funny how much that has held true for the season and indicating our performance.
The bunker call at the start when we lost our challenge was a shocker. Can’t understand how they got that wrong.
They called that the eels stripped the ball. There has to be a stripping motion. The broncos player simply let go of it. Ah .. the bunker – give it all the technology in the world and they still can’t get the simple things right.
I saw it differently. Tom had both hands on the ball and never once was there seperation. So I don’t understand how he was pinged for striping it back when in fact he never lost control of it. So yes…. How the bunker missed that is what astounded me….. Did I see it incorrectly?
Yep, in real time it looked like Pereira gained the best grip and that’s what Atkins saw, but replay clearly showed Opacic never lost control, Pereira realised that and released his grip, without complaint. No strip. The bunker is there to see incorrect calls, this one was demonstrated but ignored. Go figure!
Yep spot on
I was there – great atmosphere – great crowd – great numbers of Eels supporters – great game.
The referee – the bunker – the lines persons still make bad mistakes.
The first half was electric – the second the Broncos not so much lifted but came out to spoil. If that’s the best they could do then the eight is out of the question.
Fleger got his for that brutal shoulder charge and should have got ten minutes. That guy is slowly turning into TPJ with his shots.
Lane was almost unstoppable.
Guntherson was really effective
Dyl Bags was brilliant
Cash was on the ball.
Ice Papa – what can you say.
Mr Sixties – check out the weather – Melbourne just got a storm warning.
And Jake for his cameo role was safe. It is hard to get into the game once it was really over.
Once Parra got that first try in the second half – that gave them the keys to the floodgate.
It started to remind me of that semi final,58 – zero.
Whilst I appreciate your grades are a bit of fun as you come down off your high, but I think you lose credibility in the process with no one getting lower than a A, I thought we did some silly things and you make no reference to them.
The try that Broncs scored was a set play off a scrum that blind freddie could have read, but we stayed short because no one seemingly wanted make up the extra man. Papillii was very slow in breaking and Guth had the role of reading that and send players across, not the least himself.
We did some clever “bat backs” but the positioning of the support was poor, Tom O made some basic and fundamental errors that lacked patience and resolve. Waqar needs to concentrate and we have to be more aware of the “strip” or we will never handle Munster. Brown’s forward pass from the kick off was just as bad as Broncs kicking off over the dead ball line…….. maybe you should get a bigger phone Gol!
If this was an early season game, you would be justifiably excited. Whilst winning was enormous those one percenters are not the example we want when we are this close. I listed probably a half dozen errors there, how good could we be because just about everyone was avoidable!
The coaches will obviously examine every one of the errors in the review, and they wouldn’t want perfection as the errors provide the motivation to improve. To be honest, I now hate watching perfect training sessions during the season. Invariably, the players get ahead of themselves.
But if Gol is guilty of only focussing on the positive Poppa, are you guilty of the polar opposite?
Your first contentions are fair but Poppa is only showing some balance. We are all excited and happy for the win.
Balance? Whilst I think your comments below are a bit on the negative side, you can contend that you have some balance. There are no positives in Poppa’s comments, therefore zero balance. Incidentally, Gol has absolutely got stuck into the team in his grades for sub standard efforts.
By the way, I’m not saying that Poppa hasn’t found legit errors, I’m merely saying that you won’t get perfection and that is a good thing in a victory, as I’m certain that those errors will be front and centre in the video review. Let’s just enjoy the great win and let the players and coaches concentrate on the odd negative.
“Whilst I appreciate your grades are a bit of fun as you come down off your high, but I think you lose credibility in the process with no one getting lower than a A, I thought we did some silly things and you make no reference to them.“
I dont believe that was unfair or lacking balance 60’s but I do have a habit of calling a spade a spade and that in itself gives a balance.
You are right of course there are no sheep stations in this discussion and opinions are always subjective, but we have to be honest with ourselves so we can be subjective.
I said what I think in this case and if you look at the comments in general there a few others that think that way as well.
I might add in completion that no one was more delighted than me to see such a win.
Your never happy !
Thank you !!!!
It’s all good to have some celebration but let’s not limit proper discourse.
I had a great night sitting with the Broncos squad.
Kevvie was in tears afterwards. He’s a bloody good bloke but the broncos are cooked.
Waqa, for a bloody good athlete, is the most uncoordinated footballer I’ve ever witnessed when the ball is on the ground. Looks like a demented giraffe!
Papa can’t pass the ball left to right to save himself.
Dylan’s mistake was bloody lazy in the extreme and really affected his game for about 15 minutes.
Reed gave some terrible passes and JAs pass was a shocker.
Opacic loses the ball too much and Junz is still way down in form.
As for the try, Gutho packed in the scrum for some unknown reason, thus giving us no cover.
The positives- our defence has come on absolutely leaps and bounds.
Shaun Lane is a monster.
I’m a hard marker but IMO the only As to be had are to Gutho, Moses and Lane.
Next weeks game against the Storm, if no team rests players, is going to be one for the ages.
And there it is win and whinge !!
Gee have a drink and a lie down mate. It’s obvious Gol is on a high after a big win and graded accordingly. I enjoy the grades due to their light hearted nature and a quick debrief of the game. They are not meant to be a historically factual memoir that people rely on for accuracy.
Let’s face it….. Parra supporters natural disposition is pessimism. It’s a fact
SO TRUE — and it shits me to death…Run with the hares hunt with the houinds. It ain’t over until it’s over..
Such a goose!!
Few people on here with a future on 1EE, anybody that knows me, knows that I don’t hunt with the hounds.
I found it interesting that one of the reasons why Matterson is coming off the bench is to organise the forwards once Junior and RCG come off. As someone with experience and skills, this seems to be working a treat, and means that Niukore can unleash and do his this early in the game. We always play better when we come out of the blocks fast, so this plays into that well.
Slightly frustrating that we lost our patience early in the second half – we seemed to try to score off every set, rather than building pressure and patiently biding our time. Luckily we reverted back to the game plan later in the game to finish it off in style.
The players seem to now finally have the right mental toughness and attitude. I do hope they can keep that up as that is what will be required from here on.
I think this is a pretty interesting/good analysis. After the rotation of Junior and RCG, the forwards do look more purposeful with Matto on.
The late comment about The Roosters 😉 – I think this will be the only time I will be actively supporting and cheering for them, and I will need a bucket next to me to do so.
Did Lane leave his superhuman efforts a little too late in the season to win Dally M second rower of the year?
That’s a good question about Lane and the Dally Ms. He must be absolutely roaring up the leaderboard. Though of course, the awarding of points is definitely problematic- look at how Gutho was absolutely robbed last year.
It’s a fair question, though I reckon Lane would swap such an award for going deep into the finals.
Tks Gol. Enjoyed the read, at 53-6 the good stuff is top of mind. Lane is MVP’ing at will. Next game will be a revelation.My better half(not Moses)all her life has given praise but equally can find fault down to the breadcrumbs on the bench, so I’ m a little trained to spot the slip ups. Other posters have given good summaries, but at a general level I thought the first 15 minutes was like when my first car had bad spark plugs, I’d put the foot down but it spluttered, surged then spluttered and I’d be thinking ‘ for Christ’s sake just go’. We were self-harming, unlike the 2nd half where the Broncs lifted, frustrated us but momentum eventually prevailed. There are a few players making the same errors, which is more the point here than making errors. A quiet word, concentrate and we will prosper.
Better, but can be better still. Sorry, I’m not satisfied yet. What I will say as someone who was at the game live and had a great view of our attacking shapes, our best player in the night was actually Ryan Matterson, although Shaun Lane was a load
Brett that is an interesting take from the game regarding Matterson.
There are lots of things that you see at the game that you don’t get on TV.
I thought that Matterson had a good game, one of the best for us. He is playing his best footy since coming back to the Eels.
I also thought that Sivo had a good night carrying the ball on kick returns. He made some really good post contact metres and was looking for carries.
Yeah John, I was right above the posts at the southern end, and every time we attacked their line in the 2nd half, all you could hear was “Watch Matto, who’s got Matto ?”. Time and time again, you could see them overreacting to his decisions, whether it was run or pass. I don’t know whether other teams react that way to him, but they were clearly worried by him.
That is good feedback Brett
I hate when we have weeks like the last 2 it gets my hopes up and I forgive and forget those issues that annoyed me previously but then years of being a eels supporter has me prepared for dissapointment soon.
One thing for sure is Lane is my new favourite player
Great read Gol.
A real team performance and BA has everyone peaking at the right time. And the thing is it wasn’t a perfect performance (thankfully) and we still put 50 on. The great thing is we can improve on that.
I really rated Lane’s performance as awesome. But RCGs tough carries just pipped him for mine.
Bring on the Storm.
Go Eels!!
Well with the Roosters beating the Storm, next weeks game is areal opportunity – especially after the brutal game tonight.
Last night we again showed what top teams should do to average teams….and when the Broncos showed some fight in the first 15min of each half we held them out and then finished them off. Exciting play, a bit scrappy at times but thats what we do.
It seems that when we are passing wider and running straighter with players in support ( like Gutho) …instead of running sideways with short passes/ block plays, etc – we look like a different team that can actually win the comp. Just seems like BA has changed a few things in the structure and the way we attack.
A real team effort – not perfect – but when you win by 50 you have to be happy.
And Shaun Lane – could he be the most improved player in the comp in 2022 ?? His height and ability to offload makes him so hard to handle. And when Mitch plays what he sees ( like a nice blind side play) we are a very dangerous team.
Thurs night at BankWest will be massive. Go Parra !!!
Your grade posts are really on the up mate, just like the Eels, well done all round, love when the eels turn it up against the broncos and smash them