This week, the tinea is playing up. Spending so much time trawling ‘The Kennell’ resulted in too many showers each day. What a dark, hateful, ‘chip on shoulder’ insulated place that is. Funny too !! Seriously though, not that bad at all.

As you guys know, each week I will try to bring you the mood, thinking (or lack of), opinions and humour from our oppositions internet forum. After the disappointment and boredom from the Cowboys last week, I was looking forward to getting into the doggies favourite place to hang out, ‘The Kennell’.

Straight into some of the early season observations of their forward pack physiques.

• ‘Sam Kasiano has been known to eat seven kebabs in one sitting so it was no great surprise to Canterbury teammates that he returned to training during the off-season weighing 144kg, but the incentive of playing in the NRL Nines motivated him to shed 13kg’.
• ‘My dad has a kebab shop and I can guarantee 7 kebabs is damn impossible, I have seen a big islander demolish 3 kebabs and a large chips, hotdog and a couple of drinks and he had size, but 7 kebabs ffs would be the equivalent of approx 2.1 kg of meat, 3.5 tomatoes, 1.5 large onion, a butt load of lettuce a whole pack of Lebanese bread and this is not including the toppings like tabbouli and cheese.You see it’s just too much food I don’t think it’s possible’.
• ‘Btw if anyone finds themselves on parra rd around Haberfield swing past for a kebab in the speedway service station’

Yeah, see you there when I need a few days off work with salmonella poisoning.

On Hasim El Masri and his acquittal from the domestic violence charges

• ‘Lol why are people surprised an x doggies player wasn’t supported by the nrl? I mean wife bashers ‘cough’ Inglis ‘cough’ get more support from the nrl so it’s only right that a doggies player isn’t supported’.
• ‘Doggies should be ashamed as well. They dumped him as quick as the nrl did. Disgraceful how everyone turned their back on him. Not surprised the nrl did but the dogs should of backed him. I lost so much respect for the club after that

Hard to argue with that last comment. Some sense from the Dogs there.

Klemmer getting charged created the biggest uproar on ‘The Kennell’ this week. More than 4 times as many posts on this than him getting off (thanks to Greenberg).

• ‘Just goes to show how positively stuffed the points system for judiciary charges is. Lesson learned touch or speak inappropriately to an official you are in trouble; next time just peg a ball at the Ref and you will be sweet’.

Fair call.

Contrary to popular belief, there are some Bulldogs supporters who do understand what is going on beyond their own backyard

• ‘I have no problem with this. Its clearly in the rules. Don’t touch the ref. Some of us need to take the blue and white tinted glasses off’

You are welcome to join us in the TCT box this weekend poster.

• ‘Not a good look for Klemmer and too many suspensions!!!! .. – him and reynolds ffs’.
• ‘Soward’s collision was accidental clearly and is a massive difference’.
• ‘On a side note, I waited at the tunnel for all the boys to leave penriff stadium. Spoke to beast and hoppa and congratulated them for the game. One of the last to leave the field was Klemmer. As he was walking up the tunnel an inbred penriff supporter whom was off his face went to spit at Klemmer and told him he was “shit”. At this time Klemmer turned around to him and said “I’m that shit I’m on 700k a year whilst ur on Centrelink”. I burst out into laughter and confronted the piss head but then right on queue the boys in blue separated us and escorted the dole bludger out of the ground all while I was giving him a gob full and laughing in his face’.
• ‘I wouldn’t be too worried if he’s suspended for one week our opponent isn’t that great for next game actually they’re shocking, i would be worried if it was a lengthy suspension, we have a lot of good young forwards itching to break into first grade and show their qualities, in saying that I hope Klemmer doesn’t make suspensions a habit’.

Klemmer wearing his ‘cities’ for his weekly appointment at NRL Headquarters

Who do the fans think Dessie will target?

• ‘No doubt that Gutherson will be targeted on Friday. He was their weak link and didn’t look too comfortable under the highball’.

Looked a bit dodgy at the Captain Run but TCT has enormous confidence in Gutherson to come good. Don’t forget he has only played 7 first grade games and has been out for a year with a knee. Great pre season which will be to his advantage.

• ‘Its only Parra, this game wont be too hard’.

Some press this week about Kieran saying that he did think about joining the Bulldogs. What do you think their fans had to say about it???

• ‘Lol I read the first page and a half of that dribble on the one eyed penis forum before I closed that garbage – sook sook sook’.
• ‘I wish he would just be honest and say he went to Parra because of the money. You would have to be stupid to believe he went to Arthur to take his footy to another level lol’.
• ‘It had nothing to do with the 400k difference per annum right ? Lol. Our offer was around the 800k mark where as parrascum are paying him a ridiculous 1.2mill a year.
• ‘Thats 1.2 million that’s on the books. Don’t forget the rest’.
• ‘Brad Arthur take his game to the next level lol. Just like he did for Sandow, Watmough, Hopa’?

Explaining why he is suing the club after being paid $1.6m for two years of not that much

Now the Dogs fans think Des is some sort of guru tactician, even though he hasn’t won them a comp. Some comments on his football nous;

• ‘Des’ structure isn’t appealing to the great halves who want freedom to play what’s in front of them’
• ‘I agree with this observation. Des is playing the numbers, the percentages. He didn’t tell the NRL to make a rule about a zero tackle starting from the 20m whenever opp kicks the ball dead, he merely is responding to it with the soundest strategy. The Dogs win the battles of field position and stamina stress. I can speak from experience that as a team it sucks big time finding yourself continually running the ball out of your own quarter and having to kick from your own half, so the Dogs also win the psychological battle when they do this’.
• ‘Personally I don’t give a stuff if commentators and other teams dismiss the Dogs methods as ugly or boring. If the NRL wants to encourage more attacking play, change the rules to reward it. The kick dead in the in goal rule that gives a zero tackle from the 20m was the alternative to changing the amount of points for tries scored off kicks. Its a sucky alternative, logically the best response to it is what the Dogs are doing, no matter how boring that is. Get rid of the stupid zero tackle for dead kicks and replace it with 3 points for tries scored off kicks. Encourage and reward more entertaining play (maybe even make from the field tries worth 5 points)’.

There were rumours on The Kennel during the week that former Eels slug, Tony Williams was headed to Newcastle. What did the puppy’s think of that?

• ‘just keep signing him on 1 year deals and he will be a star…simple’
• ‘I wish I could find a job that pays me over half a million a year for 3 years to just fit in and then actually do what I’m payed for in the 4th year’!
• ‘He’s living my dream right now’….
• ‘Pay us back? I’d like to see that. In all honesty a move to Newcastle would be a good decision for Williams’ career. He’ll fit in well there with their optional defending and lacklustre mental approach to matches’

So, when we get serious, what do they think about this game??

• ‘Tbh i think eels have had the better start so we better be on our game this week. They played both last years grand finalists in the first 2 rounds and won 1 and weren’t bad in the other’.

And finally, the quote that sums up all rugby league forums;

• ‘If we banned people for making shit threads, the site would have no members’.

So that is it for this weeks Forum Folly. Hope you are enjoying it and getting a laugh, after all that is what this segment is about.

Go the Eels !!!!

Chris.

(PS – Snake tried to get this out earlier for you)

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