Parramatta Eels 6
Wests Tigers 32
There’s only 25 weeks remaining of the 2025 NRL season.
Look, the football was terrible, but we knew that already. I went and did the “How well do you remember the 2000s” quiz on PARRA+ to feel better, and if memories of two grand final losses and wasting the prime years of Nathan Hindmarsh’s career is what you’re using to cheer yourself up, how bad are you going?
No, I’m here to talk about this:
As if the performance of the Eels wasn’t giving kids enough nightmares, the club is going to subject them to this? If you were going to make some kind of hybrid Eel footballer, couldn’t we at least go for something slippery that could break a tackle? These look like they dine on the souls of the young. Actually, considering the Eels usually crush the souls of the young, maybe this is an improvement? Still, I haven’t seen something this offensive in Blue and Gold since, well, Sunday afternoon.
If they keep this up, I can throw this section and the “Good” into the cupboard to gather dust with “X factor”. Nobody deserves accolades after that, even ironic ones.
Isaiah Iongi
1 – Fullback
I’m still optimistic about the future for Isaiah Iongi, but ain’t nobody shining in a putrid, stinking swamp of a performance like this one.
Sean Russell
2 – Left Wing
As a Panthers-lite outside back, Russell is doing okay, but given the number of tries scored down that Russell/Penisini corridor, maybe we need to go back to the anti-Panthers style and leave our outside backs some energy to defend.
Will Penisini
3 – Right Centre
Another performance like this and Will Penisini is getting crossed off my “would still feed” list. Looking at the names left that I deign to deserve dinner, the cost of living crisis isn’t going to be bothering me.
Zac Lomax
4 – Left Centre
He’s working hard, but I don’t know that we signed Zac Lomax for yardage work, he needs some space to attack and some catchable high balls to leap for.
Jordan Samrani
5 – Right Wing
It’s a shame he had to debut in such a bludger of a game, but in another life we’re talking him up after that performance. Good yardage, tough running, bounced up from getting spun on his head, and while I was worried about his defence, it was the other side with the specialist winger and “defensive” centre that were the biggest problem.
Dylan Brown
6 – Five Eighth
Until such time as I deem fit, Dylan Brown’s grades are going to be listed in the dollar value or equivalent I think such a performance is worth. Yesterday was worth a signed photo of the 2013 Parramatta Eels, that for some reason Ricky Stuart signed 13 times.
Ronald Volkman
7 – Halfback
The Tigers came close to doubling the kicking metres of the Eels, while somehow also making more metres and enjoying more possession. It’s not Ronnie Volk’s fault that his gazillionaire halves partner won’t help him out, but in the end he’s wearing the grade for the result.
Joe Ofahengaue
8 – Front Row
If you are going to kiss an opposition player to taunt them, how about you make sure they aren’t going to beat you by 26 in front of your home fans, hey?
Brendan Hands
9 – Hooker
Hands gets an F for “forward pass”, because he sure does like to throw them. The second game rookie is getting 55 minutes on the field to his 25, which says it all about how 2025 is going for Brendan Hands. He might play Joey Lussick out of the doghouse at this rate.
Junior Paulo
10 – Front Row
As far as inspirational leaders go, Junior Paulo’s efforts the last two weeks are up there with my year 10 touch footy coach, who started his half time address in a grand final we were losing 5-1 to Northmead High with “I think this one’s past you, boys”.
Jack Williams
12 – Second Row
Another guy in the “not the problem” bucket, which is only going to get you a D+ today because hey, we just inherited the mantle of most embarrassing team in rugby league from the Tigers, it’s the second week of the season, and we had to sit through the hottest March day in recorded history (stat not verified) for the privilege of watching it happen.
Shaun Lane
12 – Second Row
I thought Shaun Lane was really putting in for those early stages, a couple of tough runs, an offload, he looked like he wanted to be there. Then it might’ve been the 36 degree heat, the fact he barely had a pre-season, or that we spent the better part of 20 minutes dropping the ball, but I think he had one touch in the second half, and a paltry six for the game. If he was keeping himself fresh for defence it didn’t exactly work, as he missed 5 tackles, too.
J’maine Hopgood
13 – Lock
Hopgood does a lot of those little things that coaches love: kick pressure, support efforts, relentless defence. He also does a lot of those little things fans hate, like making 3 handling errors in a game, so let’s call it a wash and only just avoid failing him today.
Ryley Smith
14 – Interchange
Ryley Smith looks the goods, making him the first and only person with an unnecessary Y in their name on my “feed” list.
Matt Doorey
15 – Interchange
I joked last week about Doorey being ready to earn a start, but given the effort and impact of his short stints, I might be serious about it this week.
Gideon Kautoga
17 – Interchange
Kautoga may not have started the game, but he put up starter numbers. Unfortunately that starter was Shaun Lane, who touched the ball 6 times to Gideon’s 7. These impact players need to start going looking for work.
Sam Tuivaiti
21 – Interchange
It wasn’t high impact work, but he made 9 runs in 20 minutes and looked willing enough that I’d feel bad giving him a D.
Now I know why some Detroit Lions fans would go to games with bags over their heads. Sadly I don’t see any near term end to the embarrassment. Unless the coaching staff can get the team to respond soon, we’re in for a historically ordinary year. Given it is the second week of their tenure, it’s not great signs.
Stay slippery, Eels fans.
Gol
Stats and images provided by NRL / Eels media
Fair grades across the board. If it gets any worse you might need to look into a grading system that allows for G-L as well…
Speaking of grades, that high school touch football teacher wasn’t Mr Mahoney of MFHS fame was it?
Haha no, it wasn’t, but good to know there’s plenty more “inspirational” coaches out there.
What I kept out of the grades because it didn’t fit with the story was we came back and tied that game, then a guy on our side broke through for what would be the matchwinner, and ran out of the dead ball area because he didn’t see the try line.
Tks Gol, the grades are weirdly therapeutic.
I disagree with your ratings. I actually thought they tried hard in defence which wasn’t good but i couldn’t deny the effort in extreme heat for the 2nd week in a row .im now wondering if you watched the game from your lounge room with the ac on because if you were at the game i dont think you would be as critical about their efforts. Also if you believe volkman played better than Dylan Brown than i have no respect whatsoever of you as a football judge
Pretty sure it was hot where the Tigers were playing too.
Dylbro was definitely outplayed by his halves partner and THAT is how bad he is going to be. Plus he’s meant to be a leader.
Fark him off.
Pretty sure tiger’s didn’t play in Melbourne the week before in heat wave conditions which is all i mentioned about the eels backing up the tigers did play in the heat n they did defend better the eels .i watched brown take the line on a lot he played 5/8 not half back .the half’s job is to lead the team around the park.if you think he played better than brown it’s personal by you oh by the way which player got dropped?
Why not give young Sam Tuivaiti an A. ?
He did all you could ask of a 19 year old rookie in his second game, and more.
I’m not picking on anyone, but some of these younger players deserve more than people are giving them credit for.
.
I know people are disappointed with the loss but its not due to 4 of our young guns
Samrami. A+ 190m on debut
Ryley Smith B× tried harder than any of our experienced forwards.
Sam Tuivaiti. A+ you can’t ask much more of him in both of his matches.
Iongi. A. , did exceptionally well behind a badly beaten pack
They’re doing well, and the comments reflect that in most cases, but the Tigers just had us 32-0 in our home opener with a minute to go, nobody is getting a good grade in those circumstances.
I respect and understand your method Gol – that you don’t want to give out good grades for an abysmal team effort/result.
But, as your comments articulate, we really have had some valiant efforts from some of our young brigade. Given we’re likely in for a pretty lean start to the season, maybe a change in approach to recognise the great effort and skill that some of these youngsters are putting in.
Dare I say it, but if we had our senior players put in the same level of skill and effort as Ryley or Iongi that matched their experience, the scoreline wouldn’t have been so brutal.
Paulo, Brown and Penisini deserved to be dragged through the coals. Some of the youngsters deserve a pat on the back I reckon. But maybe I’m a softie…
Well that’s just your disappointment talking, not the actual efforts of the development players who exceed expectations.
Iongi can’t get an A with 4 missed tackles.
He has the worst defensive game in the team by a looooooooooong way.
50% tackle efficiency.
Compare with Ryley Smith at 90% – similar age & weight.
Tackling is a massive problem with the back 5 of whom none bettered 70%.
Good and funny read, thanks Gol. 2025 sucks so far and i don’t think it’s going to get much better. And with Laurie Daley at the helm of NSW origin, that isn’t inspiring hope either.
Ugh, thanks for the reminder.
Did anyone see Papalii and Hayze dunster play in cup on the weekend?
They both played incredibly. Joash saved tries and overall was a clear stand out.
Hayze ran for 200+ meters and was breaking tackles and making people miss, worked his tail off.
Don’t be surprised if we see either Joash or Hayze in the nrl team sometime soon. Joash at 14 instead of 2 specialist hookers might be an upcoming play.
I think most agree with the grades except our young players and new recruits all deserve better grades they are shining lights, it’s the Snr eels and lack of leadership letting us down. Young eels and new recruits are doing their jobs.
It would be awesome to see Dunster come good again after his knee was absolutely obliterated back in 2022. He looked so promising before that.
Agree Gol!
And the good news Cup are undefeated!
Dunster had a good game but was very slow last time he played 1st grade.
Carty 4 runs for 18m 13 tackles 4 missed tackles. That isn’t someone screaming to be picked in 1st grade. Could be sulking in cup.
Kelma 7 runs 55m 9 tackles 3 missed tackles. Again dropped and sulking in cup.
No pressure from below. It looks like a coordinated lack of effort. These are the types of players that you should never sign. Those that give up easy and sulk. Bulldogs have bought a lot of players and they are all scrappers and fighters. We have signed the exact opposite. This is where we’ve been going wrong for years. Talented players that are soft mentally go missing when the going gets tough.
A purge is required and new harder players need to be found. We had Mahoney, Marata and Ray Stone and even ICE and Opacic. Throw in Gutho and we had a lot of fight in those guys.
Yeah agreed. I reckon 2025 will see those guys stay in Cup. Unfortunately that also affects the development of young players. We should be using NSW Cup as a launching pad to NRL, not a retirement village for players who are looking for the next pay day.
Didnt see the cup game as I went to the main event.
It would be great to see Dunster back at the top but damn .. last year I’ve never seen a slower winger!
It’s great we have these kids getting exposure but how much money do we have sitting in Cup loafing ?
And why did we sign Kelma Tuilagi to an extension when his defence has always been questionable?
I think the blueprint for the Eels is the Bulldogs. They have had a massive turnover of staff in the last 2 years and we will probably have to follow the same wooden spoon route to rise again.
Agree, forget rebuild its a purge that we need.
Some people saying we should have kept Reg (and I would have preferred we did).
But Reg had against Bulldogs;
39min
8 runs for 70m
4 missed tackles
He’s doing exactly what his former team mates are doing.
Lane, Junior and Joe O are all past it. Their careers have have fallen off a cliff after 2022. They are fitter but still miles behind what’s needed and lack the fight required.
Dylan has chucked in the towel and doesn’t deserve to play in first grade. He’s clearly already checked out and it’s now cancerous behaviour.
We have a few sulkers that are damaging the culture of the club.
Pete and spark, agree with what you guys are saying
Somebody with a big public voice or platform needs to get ahead on this and cover it to make it get out in the air and possibly spoken about
Anyone who isn’t disillusioned or living in denial / fairy land can see there’s an internal rift or dissatisfaction amongst the older players at parramatta
And the older / and or long time eels players (MANY, but not all)
Have more or less quit and checked out mentally, they’ve not commited to Jason Ryles or the parramatta eels club
If even the younger players and new recruits ALL looked worse – we could pin it on the coaching being worse
But the exact opposite is true, every new recruit or player being promoted from within looks better or playing to the same standard
The old players who’ve tanked in regards to performance and attitude is the older parra players seemingly
This is too obvious from a statistical probability perspective to be a “coincidence” that all the young & new players are thriving
Then blokes like Dylan brown Joffa Carty etc have all shown up more or less like they’ve mentally checked out
Even if people want to blame the coach for lack of experience in the side, that’s rubbish for an excuse
Because the worst performing players of the season so far are the most experienced players in the team
And the on field leaders in terms of efforts, heart, and statistics are from either new recruits or young parramatta eels
There’s some type of divide at our club and until the older players start to care (if that even happens), we will be in desperate conditions unfortunately
I will say Paulo isn’t one of them not trying – he missed most of last season and it will take him some time to adjust, I think jnr loves parra and it’s just age + missing a large % of 2024 season holding his performances back
Yeah Muz, the problem with ts coordinated quiet quitting. Quiet quitting is what they called in business years ago. Where you just go through the motions do the basics but never extend yourself. The trouble is whilst it’s isolated to the older players. The fear that it spreads like a contagion to the younger players who end up doing the same just to fit in. Remember we had very strong player power. That power has been challenged and now we get this sulking and quiet quitting.
We need scrappers and fighters – we don’t have any in the old guard.
Samarani, Williams, Smith, Iongi even Gymer last year showed what’s needed. Sadly Gymer is being surrounded by too many older stale forwards.
With Junior he does love Parra but he is lead by Ayoub and whatever Ayoub says he’ll do.
Pete good example of the quiet quitting as you called it
It’s hard because some of them are trying but cannot drag the whole team alone
Guys like Hopgood and paulo ARE NOT sulking or quitting – those blokes have been out of the game for a long time due to injury
The player power culture you mentioned was also well documented / spoken about amongst many fans but was disputed as being rubbish by others
What I will say personally;
if you compare the behaviours of a spoilt child to highly paid parramatta eels playing not showing up, you’ll see the pattern that both had been given very privileged treatment and seemingly are spitting the dummy because something has changed and they aren’t happy
Time will tell if this is the case, or if they are just severely out of form, but there’s no “coincidence” going on here
Dylan and any others publicly shared their dissatisfaction in brads sacking, it’s no coincidence that the players closest to Brad have left us or are no longer showing up for the new coach with passion
An old local footy coach I know told me that when clubs do a clean out they often have to remove the old leaders, because they are the hardest ones to change and sell on new ways of doing things
I sincerely hope they can get past these issues, otherwise we will get a spoon of blokes like brown, Carty and Joffa can’t step up
Ok, i’m going to write it. Both Junior and Dylan deserve an X.
These are two players who should thrive in this situation and stamp their authority on this team and game, driving the on field performance with their involvement and talk.
Instead, they are personifying the team performance with their lack of involvement and talk.
Unfortunately, at the moment, Volkmann seems to have little input from his senior halves partner who, if anything, should be using Mitchell’s absence to rehearse his role as a team organiser and team leader, being vocal and steering the team direction.
The “he’s a laid back personality” excuse is just that. An excuse for someone who is drifting in and out of the game and appears to be going through the motions with little or no enthusiasm.
Moses would be apoplectic with this on field performance if he was on the field. He demands perfection and isn’t shy about it. His ‘discussions’ with Gutho and others show this.
Dylan and Junior should be the same and showing the group, via their efforts and performance and verbal communication what they expect.
The rookies are showing promise. They need to see our senior forward and back lead by example.
King Gutho should never have been sent packing. What was Jason Riles thinking? Or not thinking may be the more fitting. Saints appointed him Captain from the get-go.
Despite paying $50/month for a membership, I’m glad I didn’t attend the game because of the weather, but after that performance, I’m questioning whether to attend this weekend’s game – just to save my sanity. Love your first paragraph of “The Bad”. I found myself musing over our club’s former years as well, particularly 2009.
Fair grades
I went to the game it was probably my one game for the year I gave up my season tickets after 20 years last year.
The one thing that stood out for me was junior and Offas body language it was so poor
It has been said that our best players so far are our new signing and rookies id say it’s a fair assessment and it shows that we have alot of deadwood in the club
Strap yourself in this season will be similar to the Kearney era with hopefully some light at the end of the tunnel
We wont win a game without Moses this year that I am 100% sure about
On field efforts show Brown is sulking because he was not upgraded and extended at Eels. Instead he has taken up a mega offer at BAs best mates club. Both Brown and BA are managed by Orr and somehow Knights knew exactly what was required to get the contract over the line. A huge coincidence? Not! Brown will also join MA next year. Both MA and Brown mysteriously just went to the Knights without any chance of going elsewhere. The sour grapes are paying dividends for Knights. Remember Warriors and Roosters both ruled it out early.
This signing will most likely be like Ash Taylor or Anthony Milford where the boos went on for years (not games). Years of booing by Knights fans that are already upset. I feel sorry for Dylan he’s been poorly advised and a decision made because of
sour grapes and big money.
Pete this ^ but also:
Knights wanted Bailey OUT, but then changed their mind to keep him once parra wanted him seemingly to stop him going to parra
Then once the water settled on that and parra moved on
Then Ba’s best mate at the knights changes his mind again to tell brailey he can leave again even after he performed good in trials
There’s bad blood / grudges or sour grapes here you could call it, and even if people try to deny or or pretend it isn’t happening
Ba sacking, ba’s manager being browns msnager and the disrespectful contract saga via mass emails to sell him, the knights refusing to give us Brailey then making him for sale again but only to the raiders and not us
There’s more to this and too much funny stuff going on to be all a “coincidence”
If you look at the timing of contracts.
BA was supposed to be here still with Dylan’s player options in line with BAs contract negotiations.
Also Gutho would have delt with BA last year but BA got sacked. BA would have given Gutho 3 years at $900k or more. Gutho was a broken man last year. This year he had a full off season and has started well for Dragons. He’s again the best player in an average team. With Moses put we do miss Gutho.
It’s going to take until 2027 to step out of this shadow.
I can’t imagine knights fans booing their own players like parra fans do
Some of the older heads are playing like they have been tapped on the shoulder and some of the young guys are actually having a dig.
I know Ryles has his style and wants to get his team in soi I’m happy to give him time to do that, sure there is going to be some tough days this year but i think in the next few years things will turn around once Ryles gets the players he wants and giving the juniors a go now to see who is up to it will be better for the long run.
#blueandgoldforever
Gee it was hard to watch on the weekend, between the booing for lack of effort and single and double tea cupping half of the players were doing, its hard to understand what they have been doing all preseason.
They appear to be stopping each set and let the player run into the defensive line not actually trying to pressure the attacking player, or attacking backline. Did they not rewatch the Melbourne game! Tigers did to a lessor extent what Melbourne did on our home ground.
Pretty basic stuff……if they simply moved up in a line, and there kick chase was in a line, and played like a team and someone actually wanted to put a shot on the opposition may enthuse someone in the team.
Would like to hear from the players, someone actually stand up and be heard. It seems as if everyone is $hitting themselves to walk on the ground.
I hope we can improve, and just go back to basics. Dean welcome to the club, hopefully you can bring some stability in attack and general play.
Forwards push up and put an f’ing shot on the opposition. Not celebrate a drop ball. Celebrate a Shot!
Lets get out there as a Club, players and supporters and bash these dirty dogs!