How much did we all need that? I went into this game wishing my old man had moved to Wollstonecraft instead of Winston Hills back in the 1970s and never put the family on the painful path to Eels devotion. By the time I’d watched Mitchell Moses interviewed after the game I was even happy for him to be selected for New South Wales and leave us digging through boxes in the leagues club attic for Jeff Robson’s phone number.

The Parramatta Eels absorbed everything the tricky Bulldogs could throw at them, then ran over, through and around them on the way to a very comfortable win. In a weekend of upsets and with every excuse to fall victim to a lowly Canterbury side, Parramatta bit down and got the hard work done, hitting .500 for the first time this year and taking a place in the “true top eight” where teams don’t get points for having a week off.

The bad will come next week, when the Eels likely have to play without Mitchell Moses as well as Junior Paulo. Rushing Ryan Matterson and Joe Ofahengaue back wasn’t something I was thinking we would need to do, but considering NSW Cup had 60 put on them this week I don’t think the answers are coming from the healthy players we have left on the roster. Still, that’s a problem for the preview guy, right now let’s just be happy Mitch gets another shot at Origin.

The game today was peak Bryce Cartwright, just absolutely unstoppable on that right edge running off of Mitch Moses, with Will Penisini eagerly waiting to pounce on offloads inside or out. With so many big name attacking players on the sidelines, Carty and Moses picked a perfect time to get in sync together.

Statistically this was a very similar performance to the first time around. The Eels crushed the Bulldogs through the middle of the park, racking up huge running metres, breaking a ridiculous number of tackles and making more than 10 extra metres per set than their opponents. All this despite 15 errors, 8 penalties conceded and a 65% completion rate. Last year with those numbers the Eels were on the end of a 20 point beating, not dishing one out. For the numbers inclined:

Possession: Eels 55%, Bulldogs 45%
Completions: Eels 28/43 (65%), Bulldogs 32/40 (80%)
Metres: Eels 1,984, Bulldogs 1,425
Post contact metres: Eels 502, Bulldogs 384
Tackle breaks: Eels 53, Bulldogs 39
Line breaks: Bulldogs 7, Eels 6
Offloads: Bulldogs 19, Eels 17
Average set distance: Eels 46.2m, Bulldogs 35.6m
Tackles: Eels 266, Bulldogs 339
Errors: Eels 15, Bulldogs 11
Penalties conceded: Eels 8, Bulldogs 2
Cumulative score in 2023 matches: Eels 64, Bulldogs 16

Whilst it would be nice to crown the king for his holiday hat-trick, the MVP has to go to NSW halfback-in-waiting Mitchell Moses. The acceleration he put on to set up Gutherson’s third was a beautiful showcase of his physical talents, then the pass to the king a highlight of his footballing skills. He terrorised the short side, kicked with his usual precision and nearly got one himself by predicting a Bulldogs’ pet play. While I’m excited for his Origin return, I’m even more excited to be able to describe him as “incumbent NSW halfback Mitchell Moses” for another season. You da MVP, Mitch.





 

 

 

While the King was delivered the spoils in the form of three tries on his day of celebration, few ever give Clint Gutherson the credit he so richly deserves for the prosperity of his domain. Fans tend to rate players, but especially fullbacks, on the physical gifts that allow them to do things no other player can. Yet even when pulling off a step like he did to Hayze Perham today, Clint Gutherson hardly looks like a natural talent, it’s all brains and hard work. Give me the desire and footy smarts that sees the King in the right spot time and again over a strong runner who gets to be lazy or a big stepper that can’t tackle any day. 

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I don’t know what Reed Mahoney did to Maika Sivo in their time as teammates, maybe the Lakemba Leprechaun questioned the medicinal properties of kava. Regardless I thank him, because he unlocked beast mode Maika. That was the hardest I’ve seen Sivo run in years, and sometimes he didn’t even pick out the smallest player on the park to target. Work like that makes the injuries in the engine room hurt just that little bit less.

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The entire backline feasted on tackle breaks this week, but the man of unspeakable nicknames also managed to find the offload to bring his threat rating to “Maika Sivo after you insulted kava” levels. A couple too many errors, but at least they’re usually coming when trying something, as Will grows into his role as primary attacking threat in the side.

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Bailey Simonsson is the poster child for every battler out there that looks at somebody else at work and thinks “I could do their job”. As a winger Bailey Simonsson made a great reserve grader, as a centre Bailey Simonsson is a legitimately dangerous footballer. He makes tough runs, probing runs, darting runs, but always dangerous runs, this week on the way to a team high 200 metres and 8 tackle breaks. Like the solid performance of Tom Opacic was a key to last year’s grand final run, Bailey emerging as a star will hopefully unlock a deep finals campaign for the Blue and Gold.

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Sean Russell wasn’t much of a focal point in this one, but he did get a good view of the best Eels attacking weapons while standing outside them waiting for a ball that never came. He did some hard ruck work and was good under the vaunted high ball of Matt Burton, he just wasn’t given much chance to shine on the other side of the ball.

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All he needed was a shot indeed. Daejarn Asi showed plenty in his Blue and Gold debut, kicking well when asked, chiming in along the backline with run and pass, and setting up the try that officially made this a “lean back and enjoy” contest. While he, Moses and Gutho split playmaking duties into nearly equal thirds, Asi felt like a natural fit in the attacking structures. A great start for DJ.

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What a day for Mitch, who had a plan and was brutal in executing it. Moses down the short side is a “Maika Sivo after you insulted kava and kicked his dog” level threat, and even if you know it is coming, what can you do about that kind of acceleration? Look at him in the corresponding fixture last season and his unfortunate “effort” at a putdown and compare it to the dedication he showed here in running down Jacob Preston. That’s the difference between a good club player and an Origin player.

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I felt when watching that big Reg eased himself back into first grade, but his numbers suggest a far more dominant performance. 14 runs, 153 metres (albeit a third of those on kick returns) and 3 tackle breaks, if that’s a quiet game then I can’t wait to see a fired up one.

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With 80 minutes on the park and the chance to really feel his way into the contest, Brendan Hands got to show off his running game and boy was it a pleasant sight to see. He flies very close to the sun with his flat passing, but what modern hooker doesn’t? With form like this, Josh Hodgson had better be taking the PainAway and spraying the TIDL over his neck to get back on the field ASAP before he finds himself passing to (checks NSWRL website) Niko Apelu and Max Tupou in NSW Cup.

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It didn’t look as if Junior was running particularly hard, but every other tackle he was offloading or bouncing out of contact and making a crucial pass. Even more importantly, the scoreline meant he could take an early shower and get some much needed rest in this draining part of the season.

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This match was like a career highlight reel for Bryce Cartwright, featuring everything good about his game over the years. The ballplaying, the offloading, the footy nous, it was all on display, and none of the brain snaps that occasionally come with such extravagance. His combination with Moses and Penisini has clicked and I’m feeling very confident in him keeping that right edge spot for the rest of the year.

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The Andrew Davey revenge game started strong but fizzled out, with a couple of tough handling errors and a few too many missed tackles over his 56 minutes. BA really likes him, but with troops coming back over the next few weeks I’m struggling to see where he fits in to this side.

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64 tough minutes for J’maine Hopgood, who is doing a lot of the dirty work in the middle of the field. His missed tackle rates are still too high, even considering he regularly leads the team tackle count, but he plays a crucial role in the side.

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If Wiremu Greig can’t make it back this season, then Ofahiki Ogden today proved himself a very capable replacement. Super busy in a limited stint, running tough every time, and sitting second behind Bryce Cartwright of the forwards in tackle breaks with 4. He or Junior needs to dye their hair or grow a mullet or something, because I’m confusing these two man mountains (men mountains?) far too often at the moment.

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The Big Mak was Ogden-lite in this one, doing a solid job but shown up by his more aggressive teammate. While Wiremu’s injury might mean these two will be a tag team rather than two men fighting for one spot for the rest of the year, we’ll be measuring them against each other all season long and today, Makatoa stood slightly less tall.

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Luca Moretti was again tough and busy in his limited minutes, but again found himself making a high visibility mistake. We can argue all day about whether that drop should have been a penalty, but the key to first grade football is not putting yourself in situations where things like that can happen and opportunistic veterans can make a play at the ball. Ball security, discipline, these are what turn reserve graders into first graders, and Moretti still has a bit to learn.

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I was in party mode by the time Matt Doorey came onto the field, and while he didn’t take over the stereo and put on the Michael Buble Christmas Special, it’s not like he rocked up with a keg and a dozen pizzas either.

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The end result was a fair reflection of the gap between these two sides. The Bulldogs tried some kind of expansive gameplan, but didn’t contest the middle well enough for it to be much more than a “slide and tackle” training run for the Eels edge defenders. There are certainly ways to exploit a speed mismatch on the flanks, but whatever the Bulldogs did today was not it. When Parramatta got the ball back we ran it down their throat and very soon the scoreboard was lighting up.

Next up it’s the second leg of back-to-back rivalry games, though the contest with the Manly Sea Eagles will be somewhat hampered by Origin absentees. Manly without Tom Trbojevic and Daly Cherry-Evans, possibly led around the park by Jake Arthur, that doesn’t sound very scary until you start looking at what the Eels halves combination might end up being.

Still, must win games are must win games regardless of who is or isn’t available, and wins in the next two against the Sea Eagles and Dolphins would put some space between the Eels and two fellow top eight contenders. It’s been a long, hard slog back to an even win/loss record, and the Eels will need to fight like their season depends on it to put that ledger into the positive. 

Until next time, stay slippery Eels fans.

Gol

Stats and images provided by NRL / Eels media