The Cumberland Throw

Post Game Grades – Round 9 vs Melbourne

Parramatta_Eels_logo.svg  Parramatta Eels 10

Melbourne Storm 64

The Good:
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The Bad:

“Why go hard, when you can just go home?” – The Eels, Magic Round, 2019

It makes me sad there are so many legitimate contenders for “Most Disappointing Eels loss ever”, but this game is certainly in the finals. As for the Eels, after tonight’s inept performance you’d think we are infinitely less likely to be so.

Six days ago I was standing in Bankwest Stadium, bouncing my 5 year old son in my arms triumphantly belting out “Click Go The Eels“. This week’s game felt like it should have been accompanied by the Benny Hill theme. I mean, the Eels defensive line looked like it was being controlled by a kid who got the NRL Xbox game but doesn’t understand the controls yet.

In short, almost everyone in Blue & Gold was terrible tonight, but Taka and Terepo were the most terrible.

This game will forever be known as the Magic Round Massacre of 2019.

The X-Factor:
The Storm ran 2418 metres, the Eels only ran 1472.

The Eels missed an insane 46 tackles to the Storm’s 21.

The score was 64-10, and I’m sad once more.

The MVP:


Give it to one of the guys in a Storm jersey.


1- Clint Gutherson (c)

Fullback, Parramatta Eels

Game aside, I am a huge fan of how annoyed Gutho was at Sivo’s sin binning. Everything else was pretty awful though. Clint Gutherson only made 4 tackles tonight, but missed a team high 10 – just let that marinate for a bit.

I actually don’t think his ongoing negotiations are impacting his game, he just happened to be terrible tonight. Still, despite tonight’s game, we still want you to stay, Gutho.

2- Maika Sivo

Left Wing, Parramatta Eels

When Jarome Hughes ends up on one knee, I’m not sure there was too much more Maika could have done other than murder him in the place where he stood. What I don’t understand however, is why Maika stopped chasing Curtis Scott in the 47th minute.

3- Michael Jennings

Left Centre, Parramatta Eels

He wasn’t actually terrible, he just wasn’t particularly good, either.

You know who was terrible?

4- Brad Takairangi

Right Centre, Parramatta Eels

More like Bad Takairangi.

God speed either those rumours of us signing DWZ, or Salmon into the centres. I’m done.

5- Blake Ferguson

Right Wing, Parramatta Eels

I kinda felt bad for Blake with that bludger of a bounce for Josh Addo Carr’s try. Nonetheless, whatever horrors unfolded tonight, we can’t really blame Blake. He also put in one hell of a chase for Curtis Scott’s try, and was only one of two Eels to crack 100m (Gutho was the other for those playing along at home).

Obviously not a great 200th for the big fella.

6- Jaeman Salmon

Five Eighth, Parramatta Eels

Jaeman missed 6 tackles and had 2 runs for 9 metres; and those sort of numbers actually put him in the better half of the team.

7- Mitchell Moses

Halfback, Parramatta Eels

Mitch’s 7 missed tackles aside, he did mange all 3 of our linebreak assists and all 2 of our try assists tonight. Good on him for chasing Addo-Carr at the end, too. We still lost by 54 tonight, so let’s not get too congratulatory.

8- Daniel Alvaro

Prop, Parramatta Eels

Tonight, Daniel Alvaro played a game of Rugby League. He ran 8 times for a paltry 54 metres, but did make 36 tackles. At times, Daniel still looks tired and a little lazy out there, however.

14- Peni Terepo

World’s Worst Hooker, Parramatta Eels

Peni Terepo makes the podium for our worst players tonight.

I know he does his fair share of good things, but I’m not sure how much longer we can continue to debate the good and bad of Peni Terepo.

Not unlike Bad Takairangi, consider me right off him until further notice.

10- Junior Paulo

Prop, Parramatta Eels

In the first half, Junior Paulo literally ran more metres making his way onto the field than he ran in attack in the opening 40 minutes. In the first stanza, Junior ran 7 times for a paltry 36 metres. No, seriously.

He had 3 for 28 in the second half, but who really cares?

11- Shaun Lane

Second Row, Parramatta Eels

My heart is black except for Shaun Lane.

He lights up my life.

12- Marata Niukore

Second Row, Parramatta Eels

Plenty of players evidently chose tonight to play their worst game of the season. Fortunately for Marata, he’s built up enough good will in earlier games to avoid any sane person questioning his role in the team going forward. I can’t say the same for …

13- Tepai Moeroa

Lock, Parramatta Eels

I’m not even sure what Tepai is supposed to do anymore, but it’s definitely not what he did tonight.


9- Reed Mahoney

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

Not unlike Fergo and Shaun Lane, I can’t blame Reed for tonight’s massacre.

15- Tim Mannah

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

I didn’t really notice him playing tonight, but my eyes teared up got pretty blurry after about 20 minutes in.

16- Oregon Kaufusi

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

The young bloke doesn’t deserve to see that – he had to cancel two shifts at Grill’d just so he could play tonight.

With all the horror aside, I actually thought he was pretty good; getting through a relatively impressive 5 runs for 51 metres.

17- Manu Ma’u

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

I don’t know Manu. I just don’t know, mate.

Marie Kondo, I want you to know that the Parramatta Eels do not currently spark joy in me.

This week, find something else that doesn’t hurt you like being an Eels fan does, and then we’ll see you back for more misery next weekend.


Whatever happens, just be thankful you’re not in charge of Eels social media this week. To everyone reading this, please be kind to all those working at the Eels.

Now, chin up guys – we’ll be back.


See you then, sports fans.

Go you Eels,


Photos courtesy of the Parramatta Eels. Stats courtesy of the legends over at Champion Data.

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Gem KM

Me sad


Absolutely disgraceful. Do the right thing BA and resign. The decision to play Gutherson at hooker was a diabolical decision, nullified everything Guth does right at the back.


My gut tells the players might have just sealed Brad Arthur’s coaching career at Parra. It can’t go on like this, it will be costing the club money through the gate. New ground hysteria won’t last long with these diabolical performances, not saying anything about player values diminishing.


There remains a dreadfully soft underbelly to this team, and a distinct lack of on-field leadership when the going gets tough. Abysmal performance, and most everyone on the team should feel embarrassed. I actually disagree with your thoughts on Gutherson’s discussion with Perenara – I think it showed him to be out of his depth as a captain, with a lame argument and overly-emotional manner.


I thought it was incredibly strange of Henry let alone any ref to allow Gutho to say what he said. Usually they usher them along quickly.

!0 Year Member

Gutho was right. Alvaro copped a shoulder to the chin and nobody was penalised. Its not like Sivo was trying to decapitate. The player fell into his shoulder. If the player was a few millimeters taller, nothing would have come of it. Good on Gutho to raise this, Absolute BS on behalf of the officiating. Does not excuse how poorly we played. We cannot handle score board pressure.


I swear my Dad wrote this about Taka. And I agree 100%.


Can we even come back from a loss like this ?.. The last time we had a similar loss was against the Eagles last year and we were a mess after that.

!0 Year Member

FFS of course we can. Apart from the top 3 teams, there is all sorts of strange results. Whilst we, I believe, cannot handle score board pressure during a game, we turn up a new team each new game. 100% we will bounce back.


I didn’t even realise Mannah played tonight. Honestly.

Trapped in the 1970's

So true. Another disgraceful performance to add to the eels rich tapestry of abysmal performances. Just shattered with what was dished up tonight.

Seth hardie

This scoreline does not happen to winning teams, a winning culture, a winning club. I have been Blue and Gold for 61 years that is close to the worst I have seen.


Our tackling had 0 intent behind it tonight. Not sure where the poor attitude in defence has suddenly come from. Of all nights to not turn up we roll over and die when an opportunity was in front of us to leapfrog Melbourne on the table. We also got rolled through the ruck very easily which seems to happen every week. It’s like opposing hookers just duck past our markers and make easy metres. Would love someone with a better rugby league brain to explain to me why that is. Poor marker effort? Are we not wrestling enough in tackles… Read more »

David Smiles

Too late Mitch , the social media back stabber had their knives out halfway through the first half


The Eels weaknesses seems to have been badly exposed, first by the Raiders and now, not only exposed but capitalised by the Storms – Limit the back three running metres and play through the centre field. I don’t know how the coaching team can counter this but if they can’t, then I reckon the outlook will be very bleak.


TolEelts agree this is the crutch of the problem, the back three have been going well and it masked the lack of forward dominance particularly in the middle. The cautious recruitment approach now looks smart – wouldn’t we look like dopes if BA/Gutho/Moses had all just resigned long contracts. BA has to change the tactics and make changes for next week, in the least Stone in the middle & Parry in for Taka.


DDay, agree. BA needs to change players who are not performing well. Obviously Taka will be one and probably Alvaro. Alvaro always get caught lying on the ruck. Tepai needs game time management, he missed tackles probably because of fatigue. Salmon needs to be another game threat to release pressure from Moses. But will BA dump players? That is the question.


Agree some players should be held accountable for their respective poor performances and I really hope this happens. IMO BA’s stick & pick philosphy white-anted our 2018 season until it was too late.
Equally we need to change tactics and focus on competing in the middle defensively and having the middle forwards contributing more to team metres – relying on the back 3 is too predictable and good teams can nullify this approach. IMO JP needs to lead he charge and straighten up the attack supported by Mau, Kaufusi, Mannah & Stone.


Agree on all. I think we need to stop relying on the back 3 and start gaining metres with our forwards. Also we need to have a quick play the ball and stick with their tackles. Easier said than done though. I reckon Hoffman will replace Sivo. Paulo should be used more as a battering ram than a 5/8 doing offloads.

Colin Hussey

I don’t know why I did not follow my head rather than my heart in this game as I predicted an eels win by 5, yeah right. Interestingly though I made no attempt to try and find a way to watch or listen to the game, first time I can remember ever doing that, as I had a nothing feeling about the game, I guess reading the score 10 scored points is better than nothing. Having read around some opinions, it would be easy to slash the wrists but not doing that, however I do know one reason why my… Read more »

Trouser Eel

I’m sorry you had to watch that all the way through Mitch. Most people turned it off by the 50 minute mark.
Can’t wait for next week.


It all ended with that disgraceful Taka knock on from the penalty like seriously that’s means for a permanent wenty trip


I was like woah we can go toe to toe with the best! Then that happens. They ran at that edge all night. I’ve been wanting Taka gone for years now or at least for someone to take his spot in his centre. Ramien, Roberts and Scott might all be available soon. I know DWZ is an option but I think we should be thinking about an actual centre.


Also wtf is with our players inability to scramble or tackle one on one? They just slide right off tackles ever since round 1. I don’t want anyone to forget this. The amount of offloads made off us is astounding.

!0 Year Member

Good call. JP was at the centre of this and did the same thing against the Knights. I am concerned about out belief in him. Perhaps too many minutes. Not the only culprit, there were many more. But, a bad performance should just be treated like that, a bad performance. Lets aim for the top 8 this year. That should be the sole goal.

Kathleen Robb

They have penalised so many times for not letting the player up. One game the tackler as on his back & ref said he would not get off & penalised near the goal post!


Tody was a bad loss in fact it was out right disgusting. But damn one week we love everyone. The next sack BA and do a clean out. We still in the top 8 which tells us that consistency is what’s lacking not ability. There are a few players in the team that have probably played their final season for the Eels, BA needs to start looking at youth and bring them into the fold. No point of making the 8 if we not going to contend for the premiership.

Seth hardie

We just had 64 points put on us and we are supposed to remain calm. You are an idiot !




I’ll make a few comments;

1. Perenara; he is a substandard referee who not only seems to have something against Parra personally by all margins of reference He inconsistently controls the game – it’s as tho He takes personally whatever occurs on the field.

We watched 3 games back-to-back and HP was by far the more controversial and least consistent official of the day.

All of that said…HP didn’t cost Parra that game.


Mate, I dislike Perenara as a referee as much as the next guy, but he had next to nothing to do with the outcome tonight. Thought it was one of his better performances (which I realise is damning with faint praise).


Agree with you mate, said above “He didn’t cost us the game”.


2. The only time 10 metres wasn’t well enforced was early in Knights/Dogs – the Knights especially M Pearce got away with Murder. Melbourne were just holding players down and wrestling as to be expected. The team change: it went around the ground Arthur had made a late change – which I found out about on Twitter. Immediately my heart sank. It seemed like a major panic move and a demonstration of either a game plan that completely failed or a lack of confidence in Reed. Whatever the case; Gutho at hooker was a disaster. And MM Was ON THE… Read more »


We were shithouse today.

I don’t like to blame a coach and havent been one to criticise BA but I was disappointed with starting Peni at dummy half. I can understand why he would think its a good idea but it completely takes away from one of our strengths. When Parra play well we come out fast and score points early and I think thats almost impossible playing without a real dummy half. It also puts a mentality that we are trying not to lose the game early instead of attempting to win.

Greg Okladnikov

Cant argue with the grades……some may have still been generous. My observation was that we lost it around the ruck and always seemed short in defence. Eddie Jones once commented about a key selection criteria was how quickly players get off the ground when tackled, and after they have made a tackle. as a general observation, it seemed like in attack, we were often last off the ground, ( they won the ruck) and it seemed that at least 50% of Storm play the balls ( if not more) had a Parra player either still on the ground or behind… Read more »


Pathetic, Ashamed, Ropable, Resentful, Annoyed. I will be back again screaming our Parra chant at the next home game but some players tonight should have a red line put through them. We will not win a title with players who cannot be relied upon to turn up each week with very little difference between best and worst or play with some semblance of footy smarts. I love BA and he has my support but if I am honest he will loose it if he does not make some of those players pay the price and play for Wenty. As the… Read more »

Trapped in the 1970's

I hope the playing group don’t apologise for another inept performance as it would be so hollow as we’ve heard it so often before. Save the words and show some pride in the jersey or get players who will. That’s not a lot to ask of a professional team.


Shelley I am with you on this one and totally agree with your comments. Watching the game last night I thought “how is Shelley going to write anything positive about what Parra supporters were served up last night”. I am glad you didn’t even try because as a team they were disgraceful and should be embarrassed to take a pay check for non performance. We supporters deserve an explanation, ala Craig Bellamy coming out and saying publicly that the Storm performance the previous week wasn’t good enough, well by crickey what Parra dished up is beyond description. I really want… Read more »


3. Gutho. I disagree with Mitch here, Guthos contract saga has gone on too long – everyone was talking about in our bay & it must be playing on His mind. In the first half Gutho was off the pace. Distracted. Then he had a head clash(?) or copped an elbow in the passage of the last try just before half time and looked sore afterwards – 2nd half He was a ghost for mine. Missed so many tackles, out of position & that last attempt at catching the Moses bomb that led to the 60+ try was clear to… Read more »


He reminded me of a sulking child last night.


4. Sivo’s Hit on Hughes was absolutely unavoidable – why everyone was calling for a send off is beyond me. The guy was almost on His knees…. The give up of the chase happened the other week as well, not sure why as Sivo caught Vunivalu with a start later on. He should be told never to do that again. Otherwise; he simply had a quiet game. Tepai Moreoa has no defined role in the team that is obvious to the viewer. He’s not athletic enough for the rangy lock forward like Radley. Not durable enough for the middle. Never… Read more »


Final thought: This was the last game my old man will be able to see with His health. And it was just absolutely devastating to watch. Only one team showed up ready to go. And it was Melbourne. BA has to make some changes as it’s simply the worst effort in a loss I’ve seen LIVE after attending maybe 2/3 games a season for 15 years. He also must resolve never to change the team like that so close to game time – it robbed us of alot of confidence. By the end of the night the storm fans were… Read more »


Good write up of bad subject matter Mitch. We got the first 2 penalties, unusual for us, but when Taka murdered the second one, I thought that’ s no way to play the Storm. Fergo’s play the ball (50/50)and Moeroa’s shoulder charge(dud call) both went the Storm’s way and put nails into our coffin. Smith constantly pushed the advantage line well into our 10 metres before any contact in the ruck and went wide once each set and made big metres. Our missed tackles were 46, there were another 46 where the post contact metres were more like line breaks.… Read more »

!0 Year Member

Ouch. We all must agree, that was a clanger of a HP call with the try at half time, if that guy was not tackled with his ball carrying arm hitting the ground with a hand on him. I do not know what a tackle is. There must be an investigation HP must NEVER officiate a Eels game again. His smirk when papenhyzen scored a try said it all. This guy is a sadist and has something in for the mighty eels. Of course, we cannot excuse the arms grabs, JP has been in the middle of this, we played… Read more »


Congratulations to the players tonight. This performance will get Arthur Sacked.
It’s time for a new coach not a best buddy coaching his friends that always let him down.
You can’t renew a coach that can’t win big games or beat teams that we should.
60 reasons to get a new coach.
Players don’t respect Arthur they always let him down we need a taskmaster.


Plenty of options Mitch. Toovey, Holbrook, Bennett assistant , I know you love Brad but his time is up, 800k he won’t go broke.
I can understand why you want to keep Brad after all he lets you do your training blogs. A new coach may not want there sessions broadcast.
Change is way overdue.


I don’t get this insistence that BA is ‘buddies’ and too nice. Multiple players have talked about valuing his honesty with them, and having tough conversations eg Cash was told at the start of the season that he wasn’t an 80 minute player yet, and what he needed to do. If you’re going to bag someone, get some facts instead of blind opinion.


I missed the game as I was out last night. I’m actually very gkad I did as it sounds likw something you try to erase fron your mind but can’t. The players need to be reminded of this game every week from now on. This is not how you repay fans.

The rev aka Snedden

Mitch that must of been hard giving these guys a mark of any substance. Onto to better news how good of the boys to help Melbourne with there for n against 😡 And on to help Newcastle to there 3rd straight win. How how much I’d love our team to win 3 straight 🤔 they all would have got a -F sivo is going to get suspension of 1 week. Why are our boy’s scared when it comes to the storm. Can someone please explain how belly gets a bunch of no names n turn them into the complete package.… Read more »

West Coast Eel

What a disaster! I think the thing I’m most disappointed about is our differential is crap after that result. +54 to -2 in one game is unacceptable. I understand we can’t win every game but we should at least be competitive. There was no positive to come out of the game. I don’t think there has to be mass changes, but certainly some. Oh man, I couldn’t sleep last night. I’m gutted. This is Parra I’m used to, unfortunately, and I hope they can fight their way back.


Well if tonight showed anything it is that BA shouldn’t/won’t be the coach next year. Bull terriers against toy poodles. We need a coach that’ll put some steel into the team and BA isn’t it. I was hoping Shane Flanagan would be that coach but he has gone o/s so who is available? And another thing, Taka is not a centre, Mennings seemed disinbterested and Salmon is not a 5/8th and I’ve got doubts he’ll even be a decent NRL player. The roster needs a good clean out and we need to bring players into the team with mongrel. Junior… Read more »

Kathleen Robb

Bellamy was so upset last week he would have spent the week with his players looking of videos of our bad games. I think one of our problems is when the ball is kicked right from the beginning they do not follow it quickly. They will stand back & let the opposition come to them giving away ground. Same on the 5th tackle & kicker should be 1st one there. Still love the Eels & have since late sixties!


The kicker rarely gets to be the first one there any more, as the opposition comes through and give them a hug. Not a tackle that you could be penalised for, but prevents them running through. Except we’re really bad at executing the same play – I think a player on each side of the field needs to be given the duty of harassing the hell out of the kicker. Noting of course that the art is doing it without leaving a gap in the line that the kicker runs through.


At the end of the day, when you strip it all back, a win’s a win and a loss is a loss. Just as quickly as that blackout arrived last night we can turn it around. The team needs to savor the hurt and embarrassment, own it, and get on with it this week. I’m eager to see how they respond – I know it’s an old cliche but how they respond is alot more important than what they dished up last night. I’ve still got faith – bucket loads more than what I had this time last year :).… Read more »


Sorry mate – I was at the game and it’s still hurting two days later. Loss by 10 or 20 points is Loss. What I witnessed was more than a loss.

Big Derek

Here’s probably the most difficult question to answer, that terrible decision from Perenara on Tepai’s tackle seemed to impact n the players, and we went basically awful from that point on after defending well and seeming to get back in the game. So , is the teams strength of mind and resolve an issue, as that seems possible, and to follow that up as the coach is supposed to influence it, if the attitude was to play for the coaches future, they didn’t. Perhaps the clubs new hierarchy are being more realistic in looking to rebuild the roster and making… Read more »

Big Derek

True Mitch, just think that the cautious approach from ONeil and Gurr is justified , they have both said at every opportunity that ” we have a plan and that will continue” . What we do need to see is results from not only the review, but from the appointments and the direction that it encompassed.


For me its simple; attitude and commitment with and without the ball. The ruck is where lots of this begins; and Mahoney being benched to me did not help.
Its frustrating and like I said the other week we are IMO like a Canberra team of a few yrs ago – inconsistent; we have to be better without the ball – it is so simple. I also believe we need 2 experienced forwards from outside the club and another back; to mix with the youth we have.
The signings etc. for existing players / coach need to be sorted in the next 3-4 wks.


I got nothin’


Wow, player possess ability, the coach comes up with a plan and instills a mental toughness amongst his troops (Des Hasler a great example at manly 2019). Brad Arthur does not have the ability to get a team up for critical games. Brad Arthur should respectfully resign, or the absolute missing in action Bernie Gurr, should sack him. 2019, we have everything to play for, yet cant compete 2 weeks in a row. To be honest had we played the Dragons away, we would not have come back from 14 nil down! BA must go, this loss rests with him,… Read more »


Whilst very young Ethan Parry must get a chance to replace Taka, he could not be any worse.

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