From The Stands is written about my weekly experience as an Eels supporter. It is normally full of praise for match days at CommBank Stadium, even in defeat.
Home games provide a sense of togetherness and pride, with supporters united in wearing our team colours, even if the team does not always deliver. I have always thought of and described us as a loyal and tough bunch of fans.
Last Thursday I felt anything but that.
Initially I did not know how to respond when my son asked me why our own fans, and I use that term loosely, were booing our own players before the game.
I struggled for words, so I simply said what I saw as the truth; that is they are booing Jake because they do not like his father. These men are too gutless to confront his father themselves so they sit surrounded by their friends, protecting themselves from the harshness of the conditions with their jackets, beanies and scarfs on, hiding behind the darkness of the stand and proceed to bully, harass and intimidate.
I told my son these men are the type of people I never want him to become, or to be associated with.
In booing Jake Arthur, these grown men were abusing a teenager who has done nothing but train hard all his life, whilst coming through the Eels pathways and enjoying success in high school championship football, before now being selected to play first grade. Like all players, be they in the starting team or on the bench, he has no apology to make for being selected nor is there any reason for him to be attacked.
The Blue and Gold Army
When my husband challenged the group of men behind us who were booing, they then proceeded to turn their abuse on us and other families nearby.
Incidentally, these men had kids with them – that’s quite a life lesson these “role models” are providing for their offspring.
In hindsight we should have told security, but we didn’t. Instead we did something we rarely do, we left before fulltime. We didn’t need to hear more of that rubbish when Jake was going to come on.
My son loves footy and still sees it in an almost utopian way. I did not want these gutless, spineless men who would never have the courage to confront Jake, his dad or our team in person to ruin that view of his favourite sport and his team.
I know selection issues are dividing our fan base, in fact they generate much debate in my household, but this is not actually about that; it is about human decency.
Raising the roof at CommBank Stadium
Let me be clear about my stance.
The make up of Parra’s bench confuses me and I do not believe that Jake should be selected in that role at this stage of his development.
I have no issue in declaring this stance because there is a difference between having this opinion and booing the young person (or any player) selected.
Every fan has a right to form an opinion and express it. However, what I witnessed at the ground last Thursday was not freedom of expression, it was bullying by a group of gutless men with a gang mentality. It was appalling and every true Parra fan should stand up for the morals and values of our club.
In the years and decades after these current coaches and players have retired our club will remain.
It is up to us as fans to determine the culture of our support. I for one will not let a small minority of fans turn our match day experiences into a game of mortal combat, where those in the Blue and Gold Army forget who the enemy is and turn on their own. We cannot allow people to bully and intimidate others in their childish attempts to get what they want.
So next Friday we will rock up to the football as we always do. We will support and cheer loudly for our players, and that means every single one selected regardless of our belief as to who should be picked.
We will also call out those who abuse our players, and report anyone who in turn tries to bully or intimate any other supporter. I encourage all Parra fans to do the same thing.
And this time, we will stay till the end.
This week could say plenty about the Eels, both in the short and long term.
In the short term, the players and coach are front and centre. They need to provide so much more, and that means playing the type of footy that gives them the opportunity to deliver their best performance. When that happens, fans like my family will accept the result.
The long term responsibility might just lie with we the fans. We cannot allow the ugly behaviour from the minority last Friday define our club and its fan base.
It’s a responsibility we should not take lightly.
Shelley
You have encapsulated it perfectly Shelly. These grown men belittle themselves and at the same time make it uncomfortable for fans at the game. Shame on them. It is incumbent on all supporters to report the rabble to security. Let’s hope for better from the crowd and our team this weekend.
Just maybe some of the booing was from females as well?
I disagree with your statement that the booing is because they do not like his father. Some may be booing because they are frustrated with the selection of a player that is illogical when there are better options available.
That is looking at it through rose coloured glasses but imagine if it was your sonAnnon.
Unfortunately, Gianni, as Shelley reported those near her were doing it in front of their kids. So I doubt they could be capable of empathy.
Don’t try to validate garbage like that Anon.
Oh cry me a river sixties. To paraphrase Voltaire “ I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight to the death to defend your right to say it” I would not and have not booed JA, however it is within the rights of those fans to express their frustration at the idiotic bench selection. You and many fans may not like it, but how else can these fans express their frustrations that blind Fredie and his mates Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can see is wrong.
Shelley described her experience – that the people she could see/hear doing it were men.
And I’ve never heard a player booed for playing before. It is very clearly targetted at his father. It is disgraceful behaviour, and you are making excuses for it. Guess what our opinion of you is?
So you speak for the group I see. It is targeting his fathers selections.
You are correct Anon I was sexist. However in my experience the booing usually resonates from men in the crowd. I am totally frustrated with Brads selections as are many fans but booing someone who is not responsible makes no sense.
I agree it is bad form to boo an individual. That does not mean I do not recognise where it is coming from, I am not validating it as Sixties ridiculous assertion stated.
Absolutely do not condone the booing.
However I’d say it’s more a reflection of the frustration and lack of faith in his father.
Away from the Booing whitch again I think is pathetic to boo your own players I would never do it unless we signed Matt Lodge anyway the ongoing selection of Jacob is both bad coaching and bad parenting from BA it’s clear Jacob isn’t 1st grade standard at this point of his career and the on going scrutiny his selection brings can only be a negative to the young man’s development.
This club is in trouble we are a good chance at missing the 8 we have players leaving players out of form and a coach who has run out of ideas and has 1 eye on his next job.
For crying out loud, Jake has the Cup runs on the board and the skill to be worthy of selection in the role he’s taking. Please don’t suggest that BA is only picking him because he is his son.
I can understand people not agreeing with his bench structure and rotation but when you go down the path of nepotism you are barking up the wrong tree. Not to mention skewing the entire booing situation.
I dont think i went the nepotism route i think your a bit defensive of the Arthur’s and thats fine.
No matter what he’s done in cup he hasn’t shown it at 1st grade level and shouldn’t be selected regardless of who’s son he is the fact that he’s the Son will lead to nepotism calls again it’s not his fault he’s selected but it is Brad’s.
This club has bigger issues then a few muppets booing a player so much focus on that and not on the poor standard of football being played i have faith that the powers that be are making enquiries to available coaches but mediocrity is generally accepted by the eels management.
I feel sorry for the kid and the boos are unwarranted but are there better options on the bench? I think there is. To suggest otherwise is a nonsense. That’s why fans (who are entitled to stress their opinion) feel there is nepotism.
Nonsense! The bench usage and selections are ridiculous. JA is not NRL standard and may never be. At 19 to be playing NRL after so few cup games he must be in the future superstar category like Brad Fittler, Andrew Johns and currently Joseph Suaalii. Surely even the biggest BA pom pom shaker can see JA is not one of those generational special teenagers. He has had a rails run from his father.
I would not boo Jake Arthur as a Parramatta supporter but you are absolutely kidding yourself if you think he has the skillset for first grade NRL. The issue is with the coach and his thinking that he brings something that can turn the game as evidenced that on the handful of occasions he has been selected the coach can only find token minutes for him at the end of the game. That in itself is not doing the kid any favours. For goodness sakes call a spade a spade.
Yet another apologist. Maybe this irks me more as a female who deals with people not calling out bad behaviour, making excuses for it, etc on a regular basis. It is not ok. There’s no excuse you can make, that will make it ok.
I never condoned it
That been said I have done plenty of booing to other teams and I will again.
But what’s been happening to Jake is a shit go from his own supporters and the club should protect and to that they should make sure he’s not put in that position.
I’m confident if one of the halves is out with injury or suspension Jake will get called up and no one will boo him.
This club is heading towards another rebuild fans aren’t happy and Jake is unfairly copping it as a result.
Mate, you just shifted the blame from the people doing the action to the club. That’s called being an apologist – “it’s not their fault, the club’s bad decisions made them do it.” It’s bullshit.
No I’m saying what they do now is on the club.
The booing is solely on the Muppets that were booing
What happens from here on in is up to the club
So, if he is selected again and gets booed again, THEN it’s the club’s fault? 🤔
No the dickheads who Boo will be but knowing he’s going to cop it from a full stadium after 2 weeks of it happening the club should sit him out to let this die down give that 5 min spell to another player
Don’t agree with the booing but I also don’t agree with his selection. As it turned out he was only on for 3 minutes and we were well beaten by then. Why would you put your son through all that for a lousy 3 minutes. The bigger issue is the number of times we only use 3 replacements. If you pick them you have to be prepared to play them.
Does anybody remember Eparama Navale? A solid yet unspectacular winger of Fijian background that played for the eels back in the late 90’s – remember those days? One day at a home game, Navale made a couple of errors and a group of dudes in front of us started calling him a “dumb coconut”. NOBODY said anything. The third time “Coconut” was heard, in reference to Navale, my mate Graham stood up and told them to “shut the hell up”. That was the end of that. Graham is built like Thor’s hammer.
That was the first time I felt sick in the stomach being in a crowd at a footie game. I’d lived with the regret that we did not say anything straight away. It was the late 90’s and people put up with a lot of trash.
The eels are in a parallel universe – an upside down world if you will, where the weirdest shit is not surprising and in fact expected, to the point where opposition fans of EVERY team reckon that they’re in with a hot shot at beating us – never mind that we are actually still in the top 8. There is no rhyme nor reason to how we are performing, it’s ground hog day and nobody has a clue as to what the answer is. May be some think sacking Arthur is the answer. May be they are right. I don’t know.
Then, the coach selects the up and coming halfback that happens to be his son as an emergency cover reserve and ….we all react differently to this…most of us think that the best eels 17 does not include Jake…but that booing, that godawful booing by Eels supporters, all I can think is, it is just a physical real time manifestation of some of the darkest, most vile, unreasonable and vulgar vomit that people post up on social media, that we probably have all seen…you know…”bush coach this, bush coach that, nepotism this, nepotism that”….I’ve read some of that stuff and it’s quite dark. I think it surely goes beyond frustration with the ridiculous season we are having right now or the coach, some of it is now just white hot HATRED.
Thank God for sport. Instead of tearing each other apart, we can come together and watch sporting battles, follow our teams, sport injects hopes and dreams into our often mundane and rigid lives and give us a tickle every now and then. Imagine going to work and being bored witless for 8 hours straight, then coming home to watch Sivo score THAT try, from our half of the field…
Parents punching each other at kids’ games…online threats against players…booing your own player because of whatever excuse you’d like to trot out (disagreement with the coach, dislike of both the parent and son, frustration with the season so far, whatever you feel like inserting here)………….
What good is sport to us, if we lose our civility?
This has been a stressful season. If we win the comp this year somehow (I’m not betting on it), may be my hair will grow back
N Senada- I’d like to thank you for writing a reply that was worthy of a post on its own. I appreciate you taking the time to add that to TCT.
Good post I remember Eparama Navale i think it was 95 or 96 I was a young kid at the time and after he had a terrible game we saw him and he looked broken but still signed our autograph books my younger brother was in a bad mood and Eparama made some jokes and made him laugh and took a photo with him
Shelley, thanks for your great post and totally am in the same way of thinking.
I am no longer able to get to games these days especially when its night matches and a few hours driving each way is something I can no longer do, my last driving license will finish next year, that is if I make it that far. I posted elsewhere when back in the early 60’s I tried to never miss a game, I also never booed the team, although the refs often got a spray from many a supporter at Cumberland.
Thing that makes me continue to follow the eels now and can see every game watching on Kayo, like last game I turned the box off with 1/4 hour to go, as I could no longer watch the eels in their bumbling plays. I also look to the next game with some apprehension as to how it will unfold, I am quietly hopeful of a reversal of the last game & it certainly wont be an easy one either. We have already taken the Riff out this year and believe that is still a possibility if the team as whole turns up and repeats the last game against them.
It was interesting reading Bellamy’s comments after their loss on the weekend, where he said he doubted the teams ability as to the future of them, saying that out in the public arena would have hurt the Storm players in their morale and would look to reversing their loss. Bellamy was quite open in his comments also especially in the open area he made the comments, bet that would have hurt him and maybe it was meant to put a burning stick in their backsides.
How often do we see him and other coaches of top tier teams making such blasts against their teams, sometimes it has a negative affect on the team especially when they think its only about themselves as individuals & not the team as whole. I have seen BA give a real spray at times, and no doubt to me, the eels will cop another dose from him to which they deserve for the next crucial game.
I will be watching the game and hope the real eels supporters are the ones that turn up, the booing to whoever is in the end is the sign of not just a team suffering, but also shows the fatal uncaring element with those who really don’t support the team, players, coaches and all the staff who work towards the teams and getting them in the right frame of mind to concentrate on their jobs.
While we are going through something of a mini drought at the moment on the field, I see no reason for the pathetic reactions of those who wimp out against the team as a whole. I have lived through many up and down eels games, & while its a fair while since we lifted the trophys as grand final winners on 4 occassions, no reasons why it cannot happen again and even this year if real support rather than booing, is give to the players and staff.
Time for the noise brigade to get a life.
Colin, I hope that the life that those people choose is far away from CommBank Stadium.
Well said Shelley.
Look – any bloke who boos a kid playing NRL for whatever reason is a jerk.
Unfortunately, the world is full of jerks. They will contend that as a paying customer, they have the right to boo whomever they want and I support that right implicitly BUT I also support the right for a nearby fan to express their views as you and your husband have done. Well done for having the gumption to do so, many would have just shut up.
Now …. That’s as far as it should go !
I cringed when I read the club had made a complaint to the NRL – just the sort of misguided boneheaded move our club would make !
The very worse thing the club or the NRL can or should do is try to police or legislate against it. They start throwing fans out for booing they are going to fall down a hole they don’t want to go anywhere near.
99% of fans are reasonable but when the club starts to stand on some moral high ground and eject or ban fans for expressing their opinions, however boneheaded they are, they will turn fans against them including me.
We have enough restrictions in society, we have enough government interference. The footy is one place that a fan can get up the ref and the opposition players, using colourful language and even booing. It is sacrosanct. You start making rules and interfering in that, well
that’s the end , may as well just watch it on TV !
The more the club makes this an issue the more they empower the jerks to push the envelope.
Ignore it and it will die a natural death.
Spark, this was not normal. We all boo at decisions, at teams being offside, at opposition players getting away with things. Booing during team lists and when the kid runs on to the field is a disgrace and nothing anyone can say should normalise it as a part of the game.
As for Jake, he currently is the number three half at the club behind Moses and Brown. He has earned that. The Cup side struggles without him. If BA decides he will carry a halfback on the bench, something that other clubs do from time to time on their bench as cover for backline or dummy half injuries, guess what. The only who qualifies is Jake.
Unfortunately because BA continues to use Jake ahead of Haze I think we will lose the better footballer of the two that being Haze.
Haze has been treated so harshly by BA who threw him to the wolves by putting him on the wing and then not giving him a chance as utility.
Please sixties do not keep this bias towards Jake and just admit Haze could cover fullback, centres, five eight and dummy half with more aplomb than Jake.
His 4 try’s the other week were electrifying and right now as he should be being older than Jake Haze is a much better all round footballer and a better utility option for the bench.
If we were to lose Haze due to being stuck in nsw cup it would be very sad for the club.
I admire BA greatly but he has got this one wrong and clearly now is going to fall on his sword as the stories of management shopping him around it is clear he won’t be coaching the eels next year.
Anthony
Sixties, I purposely made no reference to Jake’s selection in my reply. We agree it’s wrong. Ok now moving forward, if you disagree with my suggestion to let the fans sort it out or ignore it, what remedy do you suggest ?
I was a little hesitant to write about it but the overall experience for us was so poor that I felt the need to express it. The club cannot stop the booing and all I can do is call it out and express my view to those who do the booing around us. If they then turn on us like they did last week then I will report that. For the first time ever I felt uneasy and a little intimidated at the footy last week.
My view is this; if they are big and brave enough to boo because they are expressing their opinion then I can and will express my opinion on them and their childish spineless behaviour to them directly.
As I said , I support your actions 100% and agree with them.
I don’t agree with booing Jake or any player but I do think it’s silly to say “I should have told security”. Footy it’s about passion, to suggest booing should get you kicked out of the stadium is ridiculous really.
We can’t expect dans to turn up and be robotic, show no emotion.
The board has also created this mess with their blind support of a coach who has taken them as far as he can and clearly must go. No one here can tell me Jake deserves a bench spot ahead of Nathan brown, or Cartwright or Ogden.
Charlo, Jake has been part of a bench selection that has been similar all year. BA has rotated the likes of Perham, Jake, Carty and Opacic in similar roles. He has them as cover but then gives them minimal or no time if he doesn’t need them. He then drops them back to Cup to get more game time. Agree with how he structures and uses the bench, but don’t suggest that other players haven’t been used similarly to Jake.
Jake got on the field when both Opa and Carty have been unused subs. I can see why some think of nepotism.
I don’t believe Jake is the best player for the role he was used for. I think Rein should be on the bench as cover and given more than token game time.
I don’t think he or any of our players should be booed!
Rein got a couple of chances earlier in the year, and to me it looked a good strategy for variation around the ruck .He went OK, made a great burst from DH then dropped the ball cold, not even in a tackle. Unbelievably, next game, exactly the same happened. I would have gone with the theory he couldn’t do that a third time, the strategy is a good one, moreso with Mahoney’s form. His 2 errors didn’t cost us the same as the Lane/Waqa drop, which was 2 in one hit.
Yep, and I don’t recall any booing of those other players before they took to the field. It is despicable behaviour and our club can easily do without the “support” of those who partake in it. In fact most fans would show them the door right now.
In any event, the club is at a cross-roads and they need to find a way forward very quickly. We have seen far too often what can happen when the club is not completely coherent.
I interpreted Shelley’s comment about telling security as being about the abuse the men then turned on her family. THAT is definitely something that can and should get you kicked out.
As much as I hate it, I don’t think you can boot people out for booing Jake. But woe betide any “supporter” who does it near me.
There is a toxic group of fans with short memories that think the club is still running last and would find something to whinge about even if heaven forbid Parra did win the grand final. All of us a frustrated but that doesn’t give any fan a right to abuse not only the players but fellow fans. Your point about the fans also setting a culture is important. We can do better.
We have to Shaun. If such behaviour became close to the norm I wouldn’t want to be part of it.
Thanks Shelley. I’ve rarely left a game feeling so down, even after a loss. I wrote on PGG that I was struggling to find the motivation to keep turning up and putting my time in, and this was a significant part of that feeling.
I’m pleased to say there was nobody behaving like that near me, but it was clearly echoing round the ground and had nothing to do with anything the kid himself had done.
But if supporters like us get turned away by the behaviour of this small minority, then they’ll sound even more prominent, and as though they represent all Parra fans.
So, I daresay I’ll put my big girl pants on by Friday, and I will rock up again, knowing I may be in for another round of disappointment, but there to cheer on any member of our team that is selected.
Well said Shelley, and while they can loosely called fans they are not who many of us are. They are merely taking out their frustration etc on a 19 yr old and someone wearing our jersey and its a poor act.
I think what would i do or feel if he was my son?
Brad will have to ensure Jake is ok and assist here. I personally don’t think the clubs probe as reported will do much as in all fairness have these drips broken a law? Besides common decency? I doubt it…but i get it.
All these issues are besides the main fact and thats the team / coaching staff have some things to answer for in my view and also be accountable for. Let’s see what happens this week…..we have beaten Melb and Penrith but lost in some bad ways to others.
Tks Shelley, agree with your sentiments. Other than the Langs and Clearys, having trouble thinking of fathers coaching sons in first grade, so this is a pretty rare situation and maybe unique as the 2 mentioned featured sons already playing at top level. So the Eels case study becomes a precedent of uncharted territory, in a brutal sport where the extremes can be ugly.I don’t boo much at all, but I booed Greg Hartley, and I booed Kurt Sorensen for one of the worst deliberate head shots on record, but I’ve never booed an Eel, never will. I read public comments after heated State of Origin games about violence and thuggery in the name of sport by people who just don’t get Rugby League, no use arguing with them. In fact you hear these criticisms about any NRL game. The people booing Jakob Arthur belong in the ‘too hard’ basket, if that’s what makes them feel good. Rugby League invites extremes, ask our 1978 team, ask Peter Wynn.
Booing Hartley at Cumberland… ah the memories 😂
How do you know it was an Eels fan booing, did you literally see a person in eels gear booing. If there’s no evidence this could well be false criticism. Prove it. It could be a non fan.
FMD, the award for most ridiculous comment goes to…. you!
Read it again Jimbob. Shelley says her husband challenged the men sitting behind her who were doing it. She knows exactly who it was and what they were wearing. And opposition fans have zero reason to boo JA or BA.
Last time I looked the Brisbane do not have blue and gold colours nor are they called they Eels. So unless Broncos supporters went to all the hassle to purchase Eels merchandise just so they could boo Jake Arthur and fool those sitting around me, yes I am sure they “support” our club.
I see fair enough
Booing the player is not on.
But fans are dissolutioned. Jake right now doesn’t have what it takes to be a nrl player.
Ill bet if you asked 100 fans, 99 of them would have chosen another player in the 17. Its not like we have overwhelming inquiries.
So this is why fans are disillusioned. Why is Brad continually choosing Jake.?
We’d understand if there was a chance to give a young kid some experience if we had a gap on the ladder, but every game is now super crucial and having a 19year old utility who has limited experience and skill just doesn’t cut it. Sorry.
Singling out and Booing ONE of our players is NOT on!
You don’t seriously think BA is choosing Jake because it’s his son ?? Nobody really believes that do they?
I am going to approach this differently, putting the booing aside (nothing surprises me in modern society). I feel that BA who has been a wonderfully committed coach has made a mess of his sons entry into senior football.
I have never been a supporter of father & son coaches and in JA ‘s case I thought we saw enough last year for BA to outplace his son whilst not having to put either of themselves into questionable territory.
BA’s good friend was coach at Newcastle and at the beginning of the year the opportunity was there. It would have been so much better for all concerned……
Unfortunately this situation has I believed disrupted the side, just like it did last year before the professionalism of the players came good. This year we are not getting such a happening (recovering) because we do not know how far it has festered. Many players have left already and what really concerns me is some may go when once they never considered it.
I do not believe that money or income has anything to do with this situation just the unrelenting view that neither of the Arthurs have done themselves (hard to blame the kid) any good and Parra’s season is now facing ruin.
It also appears to me that BA has a number of advisors around him and he is either ignoring them or cannot get the blinkers off in being objective.
It has been happening for a while now and I love BA for bleeding blue and gold but the time has come for him to take a break from Parra, but if he does go to another club (BA) please don’t take your son, if he is good as you think he is, he will make it without Dad being his coach.
PS I always though Cleary was crazy wanted to coach his son, but he has got away with it, but the difference was when Cleary moved from Wests Nathan was well established at Panthers.
Apparently some of them do Pete. They’d long since made up their mind, and just find “evidence” to fit their theory – a wonderful thing called confirmation bias. Ever notice how those same voices are quiet after a good win?
There is no question that people do think that Pete and Wilhelmina and frankly we do not really know. Personally I dont think BA picks him because it is his son but I do believe that his judgement can be become very clouded because of it.
I have a lot to do with sport over a number of years and parental bias is always a problem because of the voluntary situation that nearly all sports have at some stage.
BA is human and more than likely he doesn’t accept that he is lacking objectivity or for that matter he is actually doing damage to Jake.
The actual denial that you have Wilhelmina is that this situation is real and does exist.
BA has another son coming through as well and hopefully BA can manage this better regardless of what he is doing at the time.
It hurts me dee[ply to write any of this but it looks like it cannot be undone in the present circumstances.
PS This has nothing to do with “fans” behaviour which in a minority of cases can be disgraceful but unfortunately the “sqeaky wheel” is always heard over the commonsense. I would not be surprised to see Jake give the game away because of this matter…..I have seen many young kids do so for much less than he has gone through.
This subject was commented on by myself on that other Parra site I very rarely comment though I felt the need to as there seemed to be a lot of posters trying to justify the booing To my astonishment my post was deleted which says a lot about our fellow supporters The embarrassment that I felt on the night has been compounded by this abysmal attitude from whom I once felt my extended family and my kneejerk reaction has been to remove myself from that site Can’t tell you I’m not a bit bummed out Hopefully we can get through this disgusting saga and our team can finish the year in good form and the young bloke can continue his journey in the NRL without this hanging over his head Go Parra