The Cumberland Throw

Post Game Grades – Round 13 vs Knights

  Parramatta Eels 4

 Newcastle Knights 30

The Good:
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The Bad:
Holy moly. What a train wreck of a game, a result, a season.

We were simply embarrassing.

It is borderline comical that this was supposed to be the season where we had a shot at the title. Remember the Maitland trial? Good times. We have gone from tweaking our roster to make a run at a premiership to potentially blowing it all up in half a season. It’s an incredible turn of form/luck/outlook.

You know how everyone has that one friend in that terrible relationship that’s slowly killing them, the one you know it’s never going to work out, but they keep going back?

That friend is you, and the relationship is supporting the Parramatta Eels.

To finish, here’s a sobering thought – the Newcastle Knights have come into existence and won two premierships since the Eels last won a premiership.

That. Is. Brutal.

X-Factor:
I’m not really into refs faulting, but they were something else tonight. With that said, their performance was still nowhere near as embarrassing as the Eels.

I also want to clarify before I write this that injuries are no excuse for the performance we dished up tonight, or our train wreck of a season. With that said, check this out:

We’ve also missed games from Tepai Moeroa, Greg Leleisiuao, Will Smith and Kirisome Auva’a. It’s a crazy list, and just adding to the ridiculous nature of Season 2018.

Oh and the Eels have still NEVER beaten the Newcastle Knights at ANZ Stadium.

Ugh.

Ok so this is basically rock bottom for us Eels fans, but in more pleasing news, this post is sponsored by the good people at:

In this week’s Post Game Eels Deal all readers of TCT can get themselves an Eels supporter ball (normally $29.95) for only $18 if they enter the code ‘TCT’ at Checkout. Go on, buy it, kick it around, become the local pity target down at the nearest park or playground.

You should definitely buy your kids this football, tell them tales of better days gone by and support the work of The Cumberland Throw.

Tell ’em Mitch sent you – I’m pretty certain it won’t make the slightest difference.

The MVP:

 

Kenny Edwards’ instagram post.

A wild, but nonetheless pretty good take from Kenny, I miss the crazy bastard.

1- Bevan French

Fullback, Parramatta Eels

He wanted another shot at fullback, but instead took a shot to the head. Let the record show that this tweet didn’t seem quite as callous at the time of writing:

BA mentioned that Bev will be right to play next week, which is good to hear.

2- Josh Hoffman

Left Wing, Parramatta Eels

What an embarrassing attempt for the Knights’ first try – if the bouncing ball was body contact, the Hoff was Bryce Cartwright. Hoff did run a lot (14 for 137) and scored a try, but that aforementioned one moment was pretty awful.

3- Michael Jennings

Right Centre, Parramatta Eels

Like a giant, pneumatic drill heading straight for the centre of the earth, Michael Jennings somehow outdid his incredibly bad, rock bottom performance from last week.

4- Brad Takairangi

Left Centre, Parramatta Eels

Despite what his curriculum vitae says, Brad Takairangi should no longer be considered a part time half.

5- George Jennings

Right Wing, Parramatta Eels

Grabs the silver medal behind Daniel Alvaro for our best on field in my opinion. The clearly superior Jennings had 12 runs for 134 metres and 2 tackle breaks.

6- Clint Gutherson (c)

Five-Eighth, Parramatta Eels

Busted his ass, obviously loves his team; I’m glad he’s our captain. Clint is still figuring out how to play in the halves, but that’s an even tougher job when your halves partner Mitch Moses goes down.

7- Mitchell Moses

Halfback, Parramatta Eels

An easy target for opposition fans, but I actually thought he was playing pretty well until he went down. Hopefully not too long a stint on the sidelines.

8- Daniel Alvaro

Prop, Parramatta Eels

The Polar Bear had 17 runs for 144 metres, and doesn’t care what you think. He also got through a mind boggling 57 tackles. If this wasn’t one of the most depressing games of Rugby League I’ve ever been to, I’d give him the MVP.

9- Cameron King

Hooker, Parramatta Eels

Regardless of how forward the pass is, missing tackles that lead directly to tries never looks good, Kingy.

16- David Gower

Prop, Parramatta Eels

If you think about it, the top of David Gower’s head is like an extension of who he is , it’s basically a continuation of his face.

With said gash, David Gower looked like an extra from The Mummy; not the one with Tom Cruise, the good one. Plenty compared him to a backyard tennis ball with added swing, still I couldn’t go past this:

Oh, he also played football tonight, but, you know, the strapping etc.

11- Manu Ma’u

Back Row, Parramatta Eels

The Mash had 11 runs, 100 metres and is now measuring at almost exactly a metric tonne of pure white-hot fury.

12- Tepai Moroea

Back Row, Parramatta Eels

Here’s an unpopular opinion: Tep’s shoulder charge was more deserving of a sin binning than Michael Jennings’ professional foul. Other than that disaster, Tep’s 15 runs for 139 metres was actually pretty good. Assuming you don’t count the aforementioned shoulder charge, his 43 tackles were also excellent. It’s a shame he’ll likely be suspended for a while.

13- Peni Terepo

Lock, Parramatta Eels

Nope.

Interchange

14- Will Smith

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

Made 5 tackles and missed 4? Batting the ball dead to Ken Sio? That’s less than ideal.

15- Suaia Matagi

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

I’ll pay anyone $100 if they can prove to me Matagi actually played; 12 runs for 101 metres? I saw him hit the ball up once. Whatever.

17- Marata Niukore

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

Thought his 7 runs for 68 metres were pretty handy, and he looks big enough that he could eat Kaysa Pritchard.

18- Nathan Brown

Interchange, Parramatta Eels

Good to have him back, would like to get him a win at some point this season. A solid return with over 100 metres and a couple of moments of niggle. Looking forward to the Cyborg returning to regular programming next week/in 2019.

Here at The Cumberland Throw, we have one motto: if you don’t like what you read, Forty probably didn’t write it.

All we can hope for at this point is that next week is less awful than this week.

Livin’ the dream.

 

Go you Eels,

Mitch.

 

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Photos courtesy of the Parramatta Eels. Stats courtesy of Champion Data.

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39 thoughts on “Post Game Grades – Round 13 vs Knights

  1. Trouser Eel

    That was a woeful game. I thought Gowie was deserving of a better grade. He just didn’t give up.
    We ran out of a bench and the was no punch to start or end with coming from our forwards.
    On a brighter note, the chips at ANZ stadium are some of the nicest I’ve ever had, so my journeys across Sydney, the cost of parking and my season ticket haven’t been totally wasted.

    1. mitch Post author

      Yeah it’s weird to say but Gowie was excellent tonight, as were Manu and Marata, and Tepai outside of his shoulder charge. However I figure I’d have to grade them all up, and suddenly there’s just too many positive grades for such a dreadful evening. I’d prefer to be a little harsh in such games.

      I actually agree with you, but figure I kinda have to lower everyone’s grade in a game like that.

  2. Anonymous

    Isn’t it about time that BA gives some of the younger players on the roster like Ray Stone etcetera a go?? What else has he go to lose but his job

    1. mitch Post author

      If the NRL allow it (the younger players are D6 development players) you’d have to think we’ll see more young blokes on the field soon, particularly with such a large list of players leaving us at the end of the season.

      1. Longfin Eel

        You’ve got to ask why the NRL don’t allow for introducing younger players. If I were Bernie I’d be demanding that they allow the club to play a few of these guys – at least a couple of games. It’s basically trial games now until the 2019 season, and this will give the fans something to be excited about. Do they really want Parra to fade away into oblivion this year?

    2. sixties

      It’s not that simple. To give players like Stone a go, the Eels have to present a case that gives them dispensation to use players outside the Top 30. Perhaps the injury list will allow this?

  3. The rev aka Snedden

    Mitch Mitch Mitch what has gone wrong ?
    As soon as we get labeled premiership contenders we fold like a deck of cards.
    I’m starting to lose confidance in brad I would be happy if he walked. Just to save face.
    The players rating are spot on. Next week I think it’s time we start rating our coach.
    Look I’ve watched some very very bad parra sides but this yr is just horrible it’s a bloody ( knight ) mare. As for the injury list sorry I won’t cop that as an excuse. Look at Penriths injury list n there in 2nd spot.
    I hope MM is fine to play next week. I think he should partner salmon next.

    What is the go with brad bringing marata on with only 20/30 minutes n the game already lost.

    While we are at brad I won’t cop he needs big body’s story it’s all lies. If that was the case why not give vave game time n drop matagi. Brown is more better coming of the bench.

    If the story’s are true about lamb coming to parra I hope it’s now cant wait to next year. This is the worse yr I have seen by far.

    This year is worse the “95” when we only won I think 5 games.

    I’m not looking forward to watching eels vs souths. South look big strong fast n fit our forwards won’t be able to handle the burgess boys n on top of that cook will make holes in our defence at will. I’m thinking it will be 24/30 nil at halftime.

    I truly can not see where our next win is coming from.

    P’s my open letter to brad n burnie gurr n the board of the parramatta eels.

    Brad Arthur please walk n save face.
    I’m not going to hammer you as I’m sure your a good husband n family man. But your days as parramatta eels coach should no longer be.
    I have been a eels fan all my life(40)yrs but this season you have made our great side the easy beats of the NRL. I’m sure teams don’t even do a video session on what players to target in attack. Our team performce this yr brad is poor to say the least.
    Burnie gurr please start having the chat to brad that no one looks forward to. It’s time for that tap on the shoulder for brad. Burnie n brad this season is worse then in “95” the only good thing that game out of “95” as we beat the premiers bulldogs. 22/16.

    Yours truly Michael (the rev) Snedden.

    # eels4life#

    1. mitch Post author

      I disagree about Brad needing to walk. Obviously change is desperately needed, but changing coach will set us back further than need be. Of course that’s just my opinion. It’s not at all an excuse, but I don’t think any team has been hit as hard by injuries as we have.

      I think the best we can do is prepare for next year.

      1. The rev aka Snedden

        Let me ask you this Mitch if we only had 1 injured player like the dragons n coming last what do you think then do you think brad should walk.
        IMO I think Penrith have had just a big as injury toll as us. A change of coach is maybe what we need. Do I say hello uncle benny. Look I like brad as a person but I’ve had enough of our side dishing up this rubbish.

        That game was there to be won but yet we got schooled by a knights team that had lost 4/5 straight games. We were poor. Very poor.

        1. mitch Post author

          I’m not debating whether or not we were poor, I just don’t think sacking BA is the answer at this stage.

          1. The rev aka Snedden

            Brother Mitch at the end of the day I’m not going to blow up at you over brad n don’t think for 1 minute I hate brad. But at the end of the day I’m like you n many eel fans we just want the best for our team. Have a good n blessed night my son.

  4. Colin Hussey

    Injuries aside!! WHAT THE????

    Its time that the coaching staff and players were locked up in a room and got to the bottom of whats going on at the Parramatta eels football side of things. Don’t let them out until its resolved and they can put the problems, not to bed but bury them well and truly for good.

    1. mitch Post author

      Agreed mate, it might be the bubble bursting of all that expectation (which isnt an excuse) and there seems to be plenty of players not really putting in.

      It’s funny when you look at the list and try figure it out though, it’s easier to identify players who I thought had a dig/pretty good game. I might have plenty disagreeing with me but I thought Alvaro, Gennings, Gutho, Manu, Brown, Tep, Gowie, Marata all played pretty well. There were brain snaps, sure, but overall it’s just perplexing.

    2. The rev aka Snedden

      Brother hussey didn’t the eels do just that when smithy walked out years ago. I think tim smith n piggy were out the night b4 drinking n that was the final straw for smithy.
      Have a good n blessed night. Just finished a church service now off to bed. Be blessed.

  5. Hearndo

    Mitch, i’d be interested to hear your thoughts on what positions/type of players we should be chasing for next year?

    1. mitch Post author

      Mate, as the team stands now I haven’t been compelled to add any more to the same positions I and many others had in the off-season: another prop, a first class hooker and a winger.

      The movements/use of Jarryd Hayne and Corey Norman might add or subtract from that list, however.

      I think Paulo is a terrific start but another prop would do wonders.

  6. Parra Pete, Thurgoona

    The effort in that game was embarrassing, Made me ill watching it…Very disappointing. Have NO player who even looks likely to score a try. Not a fan of Cameron King….I think he has been pretty ordinary…David Gower has a go..George Jennings has a go. The centres Taka and Mick Jennings are pedestrian, and past their use by date, imo….
    NOTHING in Wenty that can replace them..maybe Kirisome should get another chance????

    1. Disco Lad

      Ava was ordinary for wenty yesterday. Maybe Aukafolau will take the opportunity with both hands. Jennings and Taka are cooked and should be moved on no way we should pay Jennings 750k next year. Throw all the money at Koro or Parcell hooker is such a must. Pritchard is in no way the answer. Hooker is one of those positions that you cannot afford an injury prone player.

      1. mitch Post author

        Yeah as above I’m all in on a new hooker, another prop and another winger.

        Kirisome is just a different guy Eels fans would get angry at IMO. Hopefully we can throw some young guys in and with the season gone (hopefully) no pressure to perform.

  7. Real HN

    MVP would be the fans who still go out in the cold to watch this dribble in hopes it turns around..

    1. mitch Post author

      Yeah I gave this MVP award a few weeks ago (can’t remember which loss), and definitely considered it last night. It was not worth the drive.

  8. Offside

    Generous with the G jennings mark his defense is a worry as is his brothers that right edge is always looking shaky

    1. mitch Post author

      Hmm, I can see what you mean, but I actually thought his defence was ok. It doesn’t always tell the story but he only had 1 missed tackle too.

      1. Offside

        If you go over the games since kidwell joined were coming in a lot more this suited takkas but the Jennings boys are struggling with it.

        The tigers did similar when he was there

        1. mitch Post author

          Good thought, I’ll keep an eye out for it. You noticed any other changes in our defensive structures? I couldn’t really say our defence has particularly improved with his addition.

          1. Offside

            Its fair to say its not got any better..
            The only thing i see is the the compression of the edges.
            It looks like Alvaro has taken the defensive leader role but noone seems to lead the line speed.
            I personally the team is so far gone with confidence that our defense might be beyond saving

          2. mitch Post author

            To be honest, I hadn’t really considered the defensive leader role since 2016, when we had Peats and DeGois leading our line speed. Who was it last year?

          3. Offside

            Brown more often than not kaysa as well but he has limitations in his game as a whole.

          4. Colin Hussey

            Kaysa has some limitations but I felt he was finally showing the team what he really had prior to his latest injury. I am of the belief that he is worth keeping, the thing is we need a good 9, and Kaysa would be handy as back up.

            If we got Farah for the remainder of this season and to keep him next year for coaching the other 9’s it would be a bonus, but the club has to act now in that dept.

            I think that Kaysa is better than King and Smith combined, but Smith really is only rest replacement in the DH role.

          5. mitch Post author

            As I said above, I agree mate. I think Smith can be a 14 at a pinch, but should never be a 9. Smith’s value is his utility, but in that he also doesn’t particularly excel in any one position.

          6. mitch Post author

            Yeah I have been and remain of the opinion that Kaysa would make a great 14. Energy, an improving running game, a change of tempo.

          7. Colin Hussey

            Mitch, I might be wrong but I think Kaysa was recalled and the first game there was little difference compared to the previous rounds and losses with King in the 9 spot. Following that loss Kaysa was in the two winning games and then was injured.

            Kaysa runs on high energy but has tempered a bit with more guided runs and variations in his play, his darts from DH have been better, and on top of that while he misses some tackles I would suggest that he is nowhere as bad as King in that dept. If we can get a good 9 he would prove a perfect foil and come on as needed, similar to Cronula with their 9 and Segy coming on.

            Mahoney is likely the future but I would like to see a solid experienced 9 come in and help him and Kaysa and give them pointers for the future. Mahoney has time on his side and lets not forget that Kaysa is still young has just turned 24 so he has time to progress and learn also.

            King at 27 in September, should be showing much more form than he is now, if he could not cement his spot by now, then he’s not going to. The other aspect is that if he was of any real value and given how many matches he has played since Kaysa was injured last year and this year what has he really done to show he is worth the run on spot in the NRL?

  9. Tony

    BA described that performance as embarrassing and i think hes spot on with that assessment. Hopefully it will be embarrassing enough to get a better performance out of the side next week. Regarding the refs, BA seems to have no problem with them no matter how bad they are so ill just say they wete fantastic.

    1. mitch Post author

      I can’t imagine any players walked from that field not embarrassed.

      Except for the Knights players, of course.

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