The Cumberland Throw

From The Stands – Negativity Ends Here

“ You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it”
  Maya Angelou 

If I was to meet the Parramatta players, coaches or management I would apologise because I have made judgements on players and their effort and attitude based purely on what I see. The reality is what I see is clouded by my disappointment and, like many I need answers, I try to find them.

The truth is I know nothing about the players, or their lives. They don’t stop being humans when they walk on the field. I don’t know the game plan, unknown injuries or anything else. Yes I hate losing but I hate quitters more.

In the light of this, my message to the Eels players and coaches would be this:
I have faith in you.
I believe you are a good footy side.
I believe you care not just about your team mates but also this club.
I trust you will have the strength to come out the other side better for it.

However, this next message also needs to be crystal clear:

As long as you carry yourself like a defeated player or a broken team – whether it be by your talk on the field, your body language in the contest, your attitude in the dressing sheds or your comments to the media – you will remain just that!

Let the haters hate and the journalists spread gossip, nothing you say will change that. But, you must think positive, act positive, be confident and believe in yourself and each other. It is the only way out of it.

Simply, the negativity must stop and so from me it will.

Therefore, with the positivity being firmly on the agenda this week, what did I see from the stands that pleased me from that last game against the Warriors?

1) Manu Mau- Since the Raiders game Manu has stood tall, taken the criticism and moved on. He’s been an on-field leader, run hard, tackled harder, and showed immense pride and resilience. He’s reminded me and hopefully many more why he is so important to our team.

Manu Ma’u – so important to the Eels identity

2) Peni Terepo- He did what he usually does well – hard running and making metres. He avoided the handling errors and missed tackles that also normally spoil his game. He showed great effort and commitment, especially in the second half. When the time was toughest and we needed him the most he stood tall.

3) David Gower- A couple of weeks ago David Gower said “I always have had to fight for my spot.” Fight he did. Add to that running hard and straight with unwavering commitment and determination.

4) Gutherson- He was not one of the best on the field but one moment summed up Gutho and why he has so much leadership potential. In the first half he was faced with a decision with a bouncing ball on the ground close to the line with a Warriors player in toe. He put the ball out, backed his team’s defence and was rewarded – we held them out for three consecutive sets. He learnt from his mistake last week and made sure he did not make it again.

5) The fans – Those who turned up at the game, switched on the TV or radio or supported them in whatever way they could remain an important part of the club turning things around. We must stay the Blue and Gold army, a disciplined group all moving in the same direction if we want to win the battle. At this point we are the shield behind which our team can shelter so they can regroup. That is what an army is designed to do.

Finding the positive is my choice. I can understand the frustrations of Eels supporters and I would not begin to tell anyone that they aren’t entitled to feel this way.

In life, I believe that you should back people, show your faith in them and give them a helping hand when they’re lying on the ground rather than lay the boot in.

All these players above have bounced back from much criticised form, misjudgements, brain snaps and poor errors. I decided to acknowledge and celebrate that bounce back from certain players because they epitomise the qualities and type of people that will help my club rebound. Quite frankly, I have faith we will do just that – bounce back.

I trust BA. I trust he can and will make the correct decisions. I trust the players, their heart and desire. This choice is mine and I am sticking solidly to it.

Shelley

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18 thoughts on “From The Stands – Negativity Ends Here

  1. Colin Hussey

    Shelley, why do you write great posts? I would love to see this given to the eels dressing room and read out to them, and garner their response, even in the dressing room they would have to acknowledge all you have said and look at themselves.

    While RL is a team game, and comprises 17 players plus the off field staff on game day, they are affected by both internal and external matters, the external ones are the hardest to deal with as they have no control over it, if possible ignore it and don’t let it gnaw away at you as its a fast moving cancer.

    The internals are another matter. Therein lies the problem that is concerning, they know how much their supporter base turns up but as each passing an losing week goes by and the attendance drops especially in such a huge stadium as ANZ it has to have other affects on them.

    Positivity can last as long as one wants it to be, but when the same goes on and on, there is a need to really do some examinations, a battery needs both the positive and negative connected to be any use, I suggest they are in need of another heated session that they had prior to their first winning match.

    Healing can happen across the board, when those who have been down start seeing the positives, and the players you mention are likely the keys to the change. Manu Ma’u, David Gower, Peni Terepo Gutho, and even Moses who one could see has been affected by the whole affair. 5 players that should go in hard with their team mates in the last training session and push them to stand up. They are the way forward for me.

  2. Optimistic Eel

    You can tell the negativity is getting to the boys in the middle. First half last week, mistake after mistake you can tell the pressure was getting to them. The body language showed it. BA somehow got them back up for that second half. He still is getting through to the boys and that little bit of fight keeps me staying positive and keeps me up to watch the boys. It is going to be tough on Thursday night. Noone does siege mentality like wayne bennett and they will be sure to have it following the bennett/bellamy circuis today.

    This week might be a little glimpes into the future. For the first time, Mitch Moses has been given reign of the team. Forcing Norman to FB will allow Mitch to dictate the game and have Norman and Gutho to put their own touches chiming into the back line. Mitch played his best footy at the tigers when Brooks was out. I am really hoping this is also the case with him being the dominant play maker this week.

    As hard it will be this week, I am slightly positive.

  3. DDay

    Great post Shelley. Thanks for the quote and reflection on the choice of being positive, it gives pause for all of us.

    Let us hope the Eels carry themselves with an increased degree of self-belief this week and the result follows.

    1. Shelley

      If they think they will loose they will. Being away might help, the negativity, frustration, anger from the fans etc last week at the stadium was so noticeable. Understandable? Absolutely but ultimately not helpful for anyone. Players need to be positive, have fun it may just work- might not either but can’t get much worse.

  4. Darryl Price

    Great written article Shelley while I agree with some of the points with the article just not all of it for me. While I don’t think that I know what happens behind the doors at the sheds we have each week (outside of the first game against Manly where no one tried) only three to four players busting a gut for eighty minutes for me that is unacceptable. Mitchell absolutely last week especially busted a gut and a few times had the Auckland defence guessing and using the A option in attack to have them guessing but his B option was never there to take advantage of it so Mitchell had to either die with the ball or go with the A option that was now covered. I don’t know what is happening and how to fix it that’s for smarter people than I but when only 3 or 4 players are busting a gut and the rest of the team are resting on that somewhere there is a disconnect between coaches and players. All I ask is the team as a whole play to the best of their ability for 80 minutes each week and if they lose I can cop that (well be bearable for the week) but to see only 3 or 4 players put in and the rest of the team not week in week out is where I will complain from the other side of the fence or in my case living in South Australia the other side of the TV screen.

    1. Shelley

      I agree there are some real concerns but I am just sick of going to the footy and feeling like I have attended a funeral. I think it is meant to be fun. Like you I have no control over the problems so I will leave them to BA etc to fix

      1. Colin Hussey

        Shelley no one likes the loses but Its not helped when the loses are before paltry crowds, and unless those able to go the ANZ and call themselves supporters, even fans then its not going to help into the future.
        I believe they will go better tomorrow night against the donks as the stadium will have a better atmosphere at Suncorp.

  5. Chiefy bo

    Who’s being negative ?
    Discussing why the club isn’t performing as many thought it should isn’t being negative.

    Pointing out where the coaching staff could have done better in the player market isn’t negative.
    And why is it people use the haters word ?
    Criticism of a coach or a player doesn’t mean they are hated, it is a personal opinion on where the club can improve.

  6. Chiefy bo

    The haters call is only used by the so called do gooders. It dismisses themselves as the innocent party and paints the others as some sort of evil influence

    1. Colin Hussey

      Cheify, that is taking the debate about negativity and positivity to another end of the extreme lineage. The problem is that so many are on the tipping edge of being negative that its actually a disease that is terminal.
      On the other side of the lineage are those that look at everything through rose of purple coloured glasses perhaps a tinting of both of them is what they order at an Sub Continent eye specialist.’

      Thing is one cannot be at both ends of the lineage and have a balanced view that may tip you to one side of the lineage or pivot point. The more one sides on one or the other is very much unbalanced. You will no doubt come back and say I am that way on the positive side, yet the reality is, I try to keep a balance in the views, pretty much like we used to do in parks that had see saws in them. When you were by yourself and until mates arrived you would walk the plank and have your feet placed on both sided of the pivot, and used you legs to do the see sawing, actually made the legs tired but it also strengthened the muscles.

      The problem though with what I see is the unbalanced nature of the negative side of the debate, its not just negative but to me, & I said it on the other site, many of the things that are said border defamation, trouble is that with the vast majority having tags to hide in the back of the back blocks, they are free to spread their venom and it gets much worse.
      I doubt there would be a single eels supporter out there that is not disappointed with the way things are going ATM, but many also know that a lot of the eels players watch that other site and would be seething at the attacks on them, in the end they may well say, what point of performing for those so called fans, here I dissect fan from Supporter. With those types of fans, they can argue that that they are positive and only want change for the common good, well to me, when one reaches that stage they live in a world of positive negativity, and they must be fun to be out with.

      There is ways to give honest appraisal and point out things that the individual sees and say so, but there are also ways to have a balance in what one says.

  7. Tad

    All the behavioural, Psychological, science on human behaviour would support what you are saying Shelley. Negative criticism—what does it do—Lower self esteem–lower confidence—lower performance—create a whole lot of variables which all work against human endeavour— Why do people stick to negativity? Unfortunately it is usually an expression of what people have learnt from there own upbringing on how to deal with life issues. You learn these types of things from those who bring you up—-some exceptions accepted. You generally learn how yo problem solve from your home ,peers, and your growing environment. Most kids develop to their full potential when they are rewarded for their achievements—–not for being told to lift their game or having their faults thrown at them every time they do something wrong. I recently watched the movie Shine on the great Pianist Helfcott {sp}. He had mental breakdown and was placed in a mental institution for around 10 years or so. His father contributed to this. Much the same as our tennis player Dokovic. Her father destroyed her career in much the same way. Savagely criticising other people says much more about the people doing the criticising. You have to feel sorry for them as they have a lot of issues in their lives with little hope in changing.

    1. Lady Eel

      Now Tad you are getting way too smart for a footy site – you have led us into the area of emotional intelligence. Add resilience to what you have mentioned above and you start to understand why some people just can’t cope when things don’t go their way. Road rage is a classic example, but some Parra supporters’ have demonstrated a complete lack of resilience in the way that they have reacted to things not going as planned.
      Love your work Shelley by the way.

      1. Colin Hussey

        Lady Eel, Road rage in stands???? I wonder if that happens and it continues on the SM arenas as they troop out of the ground, (if they went) with thumbs going a million mph.

  8. Realistic Eel

    Well you don’t have to worry about any negativity towards Brad Arthur from the guys who run this site. Our coach according to TCT is like Mother Theresa…..undeserving of any criticism whatsover!

    1. Colin Hussey

      I think you need to change your tag based on that post, If you care to go back over almost every blog post for some months now, there has been more than enough posts that have commented on the coach, the difference though is in the tone of the replies rather than the name and cat calling elsewhere.

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